


There and Back Again (How I Met Your Mother)

by Andropedia



Category: Star Wars: The Clone Wars (2008) - All Media Types
Genre: Canon Compliant, Canon-Typical Violence, Eventual Happy Ending, Eventual Romance, F/F, Fluff, Hurt/Comfort, Time Skips
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-01-26
Updated: 2020-03-30
Packaged: 2021-02-27 03:28:51
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 7
Words: 22,113
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22410310
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Andropedia/pseuds/Andropedia
Summary: “Are you my Mommy?” the voice inquired in an almost pleading tone.When Ahsoka looked down with a slightly bewildered expression on her face, there stood a little Mirialan girl, couldn’t be older than five, in her grasp some sort of stuffed arctic fox. Bright, cobalt blue eyes looking up at her expectantly.
Relationships: Barriss Offee/Ahsoka Tano
Comments: 49
Kudos: 157





	1. Luna

**Author's Note:**

> At this point this has been sitting on my desktop through two different computers.... so. I just felt the sudden urge to come back to them again. Also, I guess it's not an oneshot anymore. 
> 
> Enjoy. (Hopefully)

Ahsoka browsed idly through the items on display. It was a hassle really; Why had the merchants, that sold the spare parts she needed always to be Toydarians? Due to this major inconvenience, she now had to convince the guy she want something else, he tried to sell grossly overpriced, to make him throw in her piece as an incentive and then make him believe their conversation had been about this part to begin with. The thought alone made her roll her eyes and breath another annoyed sigh, but it couldn’t be helped; If she wanted to get off this shit pile of Hutt moon, she needed the part, and stealing from a Toydarian was usually more trouble than warranted. Even if this particular edge of the galaxy was still briefly out of the Empire’s grasp. For now.

She had just reluctantly removed the hood of her cloak– After all, Toydarians were, if their immunity to mind tricks weren’t enough, also incredibly suspicious –and was about to strike up a conversation with the merchant about a ‘ _real’_ lightsabre focusing lens, which was more likely the central part of a plasma inverter, when she was interrupted by a small, hesitant voice from next to her leg.

“Are you my _Mommy_?” the voice inquired in an almost pleading tone.

When Ahsoka looked down with a slightly bewildered expression on her face, there stood a little Mirialan girl, couldn’t be older than five, in her grasp some sort of stuffed arctic fox. Bright, cobalt blue eyes looking up at her expectantly.

“No. I’m pretty sure I’m not.” Ahsoka replied warmly, her expression softening in an instant. “Have you lost your Mommy? Do you need help finding her? I’m Ahsoka, what’s your name?” she added and hunkered down next to the little creature, prompting the merchant to gasp at the egregiousness of ignoring him all of the sudden in favour of speaking to the child. Usually Ahsoka would go with some throw away alias, even in situations like this, but something about that girl made her feel like she needed to be her true self. 

The girl had short, earthy brown hair and olive skin,  that had a slightly brown shade to it,  her face although still soft and friendly, hinting at sharper facial features, as she suddenly looked at her with a strange expression that Ahsoka couldn’t place.

“She’s dead.” the girl announced with the nonchalance only a child could proclaim something so weighty, and Ahsoka took in a sharp gasp, her expression turning even more empathetic in an instant. “But you look like her!” the girl informed her, still looking at her, in what now looked distinctively like disbelief.

“So. Do you need help to find your Daddy then? You haven’t told me _your_ name yet.” Ahsoka tried again with another soft smile, trying her best to ignore the girl’s insistence, she was in fact her Mommy after all.

“I’m Luna.” the girl established, and smiled at the woman, but then looked around vaguely irritatedly. “My Mama has to be somewhere around here. I’m not supposed to leave her side, or talk to strangers. I think she is going to be mad.” the girl said and took another worried look around.

_So that’s how it is._

“Don’t worry. We will find her, and if she gets mad I’ll tell her I asked you for directions and you showed me.” Ahsoka ensured her with an empathetic smile and padded her head, like Plo Kun used to do with her when she was sad, before standing up and extending her hand for the girl to take, with her other hand pulling the hood back over her head.

The girl only nodded, albeit hesitantly, and took her hand right away. There was something in the way she eagerly looked up at Ahsoka, still full of hope that she might be her lost parent after all, that made the former Jedi strangely sad. Although she tried her best to not show it to the girl, as she let herself be tugged along with little steps.

After a quarter of an hour more or less aimlessly wandering across the admittedly very large market, the girl started to grow noticeably agitated at her side, so the Togruta quickly decided that it was time for a break. Even though the girl’s precocious wits were sharp, she was still barely a not toddler, and all the goodwill in the world wouldn’t save her from becoming a tired child, eventually.

“Are you tired?” she asked warmly, as she stopped in her tracks and fully turned towards the girl. “I can carry you piggyback if you want.” she offered holding the girls gaze for a moment. The girl after a short while again only nodded, suddenly a bright smile spreading on her face. And so the woman picked her up, and gently placed her behind her back to one side of her centre tail, and reached behind her back to hold her in place. “Try to hold onto by body.” she instructed friendly.

“How does your _Mama_ look?” she asked after the girl had settled on her back comfortably.

“Like me. Just bigger.” the girl informed her brightly. “And she has dice on her face.” she added. So the mother had Mirialan tattoos, and probably had olive skin and blue eyes too. That would bring it down to about every Mirialan woman on the planet born before the war. Although the description, now that she thought about it, also brought back the painful memory, she had worked so hard to forget for the better part of the last decade. She sighed.

“Do you know where we can find your Mama, other than the market?” Ahsoka asked, and took a quick look around to make out some affordable source of foot and or shelter. It’s been almost an hour since she had picked her up. And even though the girl held up great, considering the fact that she was carried around by a stranger in search for her only parent, Ahsoka could feel that she needed a break too, signified by the fact she didn’t answer her question at all.

“Do you eat meat?” she asked warmly, slightly turning her head to take a look at the girl. The tiny Mirialan held on to her body tightly, and had an almost too content expression on her face.

“Yeah. My Mama doesn’t. But she says I need to, because there aren’t the right plants for me here.” the girl explained. “So I will grow.” the girl wrinkled her nose at the notion she was small.

_Oh,_ _smart._ The Togruta thought to herself. It’s not that she couldn’t eat vegetarian food, but she never knew what was in it, and it was hard enough to come by food that wouldn’t make her puke on this godforsaken rock in space as it was. And she already ate enough imperial MREs to last her a lifetime.

“So. What’s your Mama doing for a living?” The former Jedi inquired casually, as the bulgy Twi’lek placed two bowls of what she hopped was actually goulash as advertised, on the small table in front of them. – Maybe the mother’s occupation would help her figure out her whereabouts more quickly.

“She helps people when they are hurt.” the girl replied, poking around in her food suspiciously. – Not entirely unwarranted, considering it looked far less than appetising.

“She is a healer?” Ahsoka followed up, and demonstratively shoved a large portion of the food into her mouth, to show her it was save to eat. The girl quickly nodded affirmatively, but still kept eyeing the food critically.

“Do you think you can show me the way to where you live?” the Togruta asked, still trying to figure out how the reunite the girl with her mother.

“I’ m not allowed to.” the girl replied with an albeit adorable, very serious expression on her face, prompting Ahsoka to knit her brows together in slight confusion. “Its a secret.” the girl added solemnly. She paused for a moment, again eyeing Ahsoka with that strange, scrutinizing look on her face, then eventually started digging into the food in front of her.

“Would you tell me, if I told you a secret too?” the former Jedi negotiated with a warm expression on her face, as the girl finally took a bite from the food, followed by slightly disgusted grimace. But the hunger quickly got the better of her.

“Has to be a big secret.” She established in a precocious tone and gave the woman another very serious look, that instantly made Ahsoka smile and almost giggle.

“Well then.” Ahsoka began, matching the girl’s seriousness. “I’m going to tell you the biggest secret I have to tell. But you must promise to tell no one. Not even your Mommy. Alright?” the former Jedi says playfully, even though it’s a very serious matter. The girls started no nod vigorously at that, her eyes growing just enough, visibly very eager to learn whatever secret her new friend was about to tell her.

“Well, I have to show you.” Ahsoka established after a moment of waiting out the girl’s enthusiasm, prompting the girl to narrow her eyes at her questioning.

After another short pause, the Togruta carefully took the cutlery from the girl and placed it on the table between them, although very subtle repeatedly taking looks around to confirm they hadn’t drawn any attention she wasn’t to keen on. The girl once again gave her a questioning look, that was suddenly replaced by intense wonder and something else entirely, as the spoon and fork started to levitate and spin closely over the surface of the table. Closely enough to add some plausible deniability just in case.

“You are a...” Luna began loudly, overcome by pure joy, but it is interrupted by Ahsoka laying the tip of her index finger into the girl’s lips before bringing the other in front of her own. The girl’s eyes were practically glowing with a happiness.

“It’s a secret. But yes, I am.” she admitted quietly, once the girl’s expression calmed down a little

“You _are_ my Mommy!” Luna declared louder than Ahsoka would want her to. “My Mommy is one too. And you look exactly like her. I mean. My Mama has a picture of _you_ on her bed stand. But your head is bigger than on the picture.” the girl insisted petulantly. An uncomfortable feeling started to crawl up Ahsoka’s spine at that. It almost felt like she had a vision, just more like a hunch; What if there was some truth to the girl’s insistence; Not just the hopes of a half-orphaned child. There was an explanation. An explanation she had tried her hardest to not think about until now. She willed her thoughts into order, forcing the spiral of emotions starting to whirl in her head to a halt.

“I am…” She began carefully. “ _I am_ sure there is an explanation for my resemblance of your mother. Best find your Mama to find out.” Ahsoka reasoned, trying her hardest to remain calm, avoiding using the word dead, even as the uneasy feeling was grabbing hold of her. Luckily the girl seemed to agree, and before Ahsoka could say anything else jumped of her seat, all the sudden filled with energy again, impatiently eyeing the woman hesitantly packing up her things into the small bundle she was carrying at her belt. 

“Then let’s go!” Luna added demandingly, all too eager to show the Togruta to her home, now.

“Alright, alright. I’m coming!” Ahsoka gave back as cheerily as possible and jumped to her feet herself, hastily taking another spoon full of food from her plate as she rounded the small table to follow the girl on her way outside and pulled the hood of her cloak over her mondrals again.

Soon Ahsoka found herself pulled along by her hand, as the girl rushed the across the marked as quick as her little feed and exhaustion allowed. The former Jedi could feel the girl’s finger digging into her hand so intensely, like she would never let go again. The left the market pretty quickly, going past increasingly sparse stands of  more or less rotten fruits, until there is only a small ally between makeshift houses – more shags than anything – lining the lower walls of the taller buildings.

T hey reached a small clearing in the jungle of old ships that had their usable parts stripped, that’s vaguely more busy than the empty streets leading them here, but most people seemed very intent on minding their own business, shooting Ahsoka wary glances, if regarding her at all. A rusty protocol droid is reciting some monologue apparently, empty, faintly glowing eyes look past them.

Ahsoka forces her supposed daughter to stop, by halting herself and tugging her with her, keeping her from going on. The former Jedi now eyeing the small crowd warily too. Something w asn’t right. She started turning around, trying to gain a sense of orientation. They w ere very far from the market; From her ship.  She didn’t even notice Luna slipping her grasp for the shortest moment.

“ _Luminara Tano._ ” a vaguely familiar voice scolded somewhere behind her. At first she didn’t even recognize it at all. Her mind not even able to put the words into context relating to her. She didn’t hear either of this words for a long time; And didn’t expect to hear them ever again.

_Luminara. Tano._ Ahsoka snapped around in an instant, that distinctively felt l onger. Her eyes were betraying her. They had to be.

Two pairs of blue eyes meet in the middle of the square, as the girl darted across, her arms outstretched,  loudly  declaring she had found her Mommy,  and that she was alive.

“ _Ahsoka_.”


	2. Silver

“Barriss.” Ahsoka’s lips moved, but she wasn’t entirely sure they made any sound at all, as the two young women stared at each other over distance that felt increasingly closer the longer the moment went on, the sight in front of her confirming every bad feeling she had had. And quickly she wasn’t even sure about the nature of said feeling any more.

The Mirialan she hadn’t seen in almost a decade was clad in a simple black dress with long sleeves and a closed neck, just like she remembered her, only had she traded the hood of her cloak for simple headscarf. Ahsoka couldn’t help but wonder if she isn’t supposed to not remember how she looked, not recognizing her immediately, have some doubt. Instead she simply knew. Sure she looked a little older, but so did Ahsoka. The slightly broody aura of seriousness apparently had turned into a more mature, more Luminara like presence, as the slender figure and gently fingers received the little girl throwing herself at her the moment she had crossed the plaza.

For the longest moment both of them just looked at each other, the same measure of disbelief in their eyes, the olive skinned woman protectively resting her hands on the back of the girls head.

Ahsoka was the first to open her mouth, still unsure what she was about to say but determined. But just before she could offer up whatever words she came up with, the moment was broken by loud, audibly slurred and threatening voice of a man from behind them, and they quickly found themselves surrounded a group from a top the surrounding roofs and alleys, that Ahsoka couldn’t make out just a second ago.

“There you are, _Jedi_. Took us long enough to track you down.” He noticeably looked past Ahsoka and directly at the Mirialan.

Within a blink of an eye they almost routinely dropped their contention and assumed defensive postures. It was unclear what the heavily armed group wanted, but it couldn’t be anything good; That much was clear.

“Did Luminara give it to you, like I asked her to?” Barriss asked, ignoring the man and instead stepping in front of her daughter. Luna didn't quite comprehend the situation and looked at them in a mixture of confusion and fear, as she had never seen her not overly cheerful but at least friendly and gentle mother tense like this. Small tears started to form in her eyes.

“Yes.” Ahsoka replied curtly, instantly knowing what she was referring to. – The third sabre, carefully stowed away in the pouch at her waist, she had dutifully carrying with her all these years.

“Give it to me.” the Mirialan demanded calmly, shoving the girl closer behind her with her hand.

“But you can't –” even now, after all that had happened, the that had passed, the Togruta's first impulse was to fear for the woman's wellbeing; This feeling that she had since she met the girl earlier manifesting itself more clearly now, a strange mixture of irrational hope and intense fear of what might happen if she gave in to it.

“Doesn't matter.” Barriss retorted seriously, once again demanding the weapon in question with a gesture of her hand.

At that Ahsoka tossed the fallen Jedi her old lightsabre, which she effortlessly caught and ignited, assuming a defensive stance.

“As soon as it starts, run home. If neither of us shows up till evening, take the money from the hideout and go over to Aunty.” Barriss remarkably calmly addressed her daughter. Luna looked like she wanted to plead for them to come with her, but then quickly nodded, remembering all the things his mother had told her about staying save and what to do if something was to happen to her.

The Togruta turned and nodded at the girl acknowledging the other woman’s words and in turn ignited both her lightsabers. Unlike the many times the Mirialan had seen them, both blades glowed, not in green, but in radiant white, bringing a sense of awe to her have she couldn’t really place at this moment. There were many things Ahsoka would have wished to tell the girl at this moment, about her, and them, and the past, but there was no time. So she simply tried and smiled affirmatively.

“She told us there would be only one of them!” One of them fearfully addressed the apparent leader of the pack, a sturdily build Zabrak, wearing what looked like a gutted Mandalorian armour, and carrying an old fashioned assault cannon.

“Who cares!” The leader replied confidently. “There are twenty of us and only the two of them. Don't be such pansies and attack already! It's just a bunch of girls.” He barked at the bunch in slurred basic.

“Jedi music box.” Barriss calmly stated without context.

“Twin sisters.” Ahsoka replied and nodded knowingly.

Without further warning and still forestalling the gangs attack, the Togruta began charging directly at the leader, the Mirialan following two steps behind her, as their attackers collectively opened fire at them. Due to the way they were positioned, Ahsoka easily parried most of the shots, before the Zabrak realized they weren't stopping and hastily lifted the cannon to start blasting them. He was too late, and, with an abrupt and seemingly random jerk of his torso, barely managed to avoid the taller woman's swipe at his head, as she jumped over him, blocking another volley of blaster bolts aimed at her, taking out two of his friends in the process. He reflexively threw the gun up to follow her path above his head, only to register, this time decisively too late, the second woman sliding in below his field of view on her knees. Before he could react, the searing pain of a lightsaber hit shot through his body. Only a blink of an eye later his torso parted with his legs, his form crumbling under its weight.

The sight of their decapitated leader threw the gang into a panicking frenzy, as they started, even more aimlessly than before, unloading at the pair of former Jedi. Ahoska of course still effortlessly parried all of the shots coming at her. But with the element of surprise gone, and fully aware of the Mirialan's existence, they now pointedly split their fire between the two of them. The Togruta shot her ally a worried look, but to her surprise Barriss managed to defend against their attacks quite well. It looked more concentrated and not even remotely effortless like it used to be, but, apparently by ways of experience and Mirialan hand-eye-coordination, she dodged and parried what they threw at her, even if she didn't manage to actually hit one of them in return.

Without exchanging any words they started whirling through their heavily armed attackers, that were spread out over the surrounding area. Turning back to back, using what cover and obstructions they could utilize to hinder their enemies. Ahsoka moved in a way that would allow her to take the majority of the fire, while the other woman had her back when ever she moved in to strike or serve one of them up to her with telekinesis. The whole ordeal took less than a minute, but felt like a carefully choreographed dance routine. When it was finally over they stood, still back to back, between the bodies of their dead or mutilated enemies. Both were breathing more heavily than before. The brunette noticeably more exhausted than the Togruta, but easily holding up.

Suddenly Ahsoka felt something changing in Barriss' life force, as the Mirialan's breathing starting to become noticeably unsteady, hitched. Quickly beginning to panic she turned to check on the woman she hadn't seen almost as long as they had known each other before.

With a quick look down her own body Barriss realized the obvious; A damp stain of dark blood was forming on her left side, as the slight smell of burned flesh began to fill he nose and she started to lose consciousness. Sinking to her knees, with the last bit of her strength she grasped the Togruta's leg, only breathing Ahsoka's name, before falling over unconsciously.

_Shit. Shit!_ Ahsoka cursed to herself over and over again. It had been easy to find the small home in between the many pieces of junk doubling as buildings, once she had managed to feel out the girl among the other residents of the alley. – Not a small feat while carrying her old... friend, who had been heavily wounded and trying to suppress the whole flurry of emotions beginning to swirl in her head.

“Mama!” Luna greeted them, immediately a worried tone in her voice, as Ahsoka dropped Barriss’ almost completely lifeless body onto the small bed in the single room.

“You said she works as a healer; Do you know if she has any Kolto? Blue-ish green liquid.” Ahsoka inquired while getting rid of her cloak, and pulling aside the parts of Barriss’ dress surrounding the wound.

“Mama!” Luna pleaded instead, clawing into the fabric of the Mirialan’s dress, already starting to cry again.

“I know this is hard for you. It’s for me too.” Ahsoka tried to sooth the girl’s grief just enough so should might be of any help to her. Even if she knew that was more than anyone could ask of a five year old right now. “Please try to remember.”

“I… I think there is some in the box under the bed.” She informed the Togruta through her tears.

“Thank you, that helps a lot.” Ahsoka said as calmly as she could manage, pressing on hand to the wound while fishing for the box with her other.

_Come on Ahsoka, you watche_ _d_ _her do this dozens of times._ She told herself, and luckily soon her hand found a single bag of Kolto in the box. She quickly brought the container to her mouth, her fangs digging into the plastic as she ripped it open with one hand.

“Can you heal her too?” Luna inquired meanwhile.

“I’m trying.” Ahsoka said honestly, trying to convince not only the girl but herself, worried about her ability to do just that. The one thing she had always been bad at. Much the woman who was now at said ability’s mercy’s amusement.

The Kolto glowed under the influence of the force flowing though her hands, melting into the wound, that still bled considerably.

_Come on, come on, come on._ She pleaded again, closing her eyes, concentrating more.

Where did the girl come from? And why did she do it, telling her that she was her mother? Ahsoka opened her eyes after a while, to take a look at the picture of them both grinning widely at R2’s optical sensor, back when their lives were still relatively in order. Relatively.

Another few minutes of uncertainty went by, with Luna practically lying on top of her mother, while Ahsoka gave her best, to remember all the things Barriss had tried to tell her about healing, back when she didn’t care. For a long while she didn’t know if she was actually doing any good, but suddenly she could feel the other woman’s life force flowing through the wounded area again, her heartbeat growing stronger again by the second. It was only a small relieve as she knew well enough that didn’t mean they were out of the woods just yet; But at least the wound had stopped bleeding.

_Blood; She needed blood._

She started to rummage through the box again, and to her great relieve found a saline bag and a set of blood neutraliser.

Setting up an IV. Great. Another thing she was really bad at. Somehow she managed to put in the needle just fine and soon the liquid started flowing, enabling her to turn her attention towards healing the wound again. Luna had already fallen asleep besides her mother when Ahsoka finally was done patching up the spot on the Mirialan’s skin with bandages and another dose of Kolto.

Once she was sure the Mirialan’s breathing was steady, almost as steady as Luna’s, clinging against her body, sleeping, she calmly sat down against he bed, trying her best to set up the instruments to fill up at least a small container with her own blood. Now, that everything had seemingly taken turn for the better, she was unable to not think about their past, her feelings, and the little girl that was so adamantly convinced she was her mother. – And rightfully so, apparently.

Barriss woke to a sharp pain in her side and the sight of Ahsoka holding her hand from the ground next to the bed, and an empty blood bag still strapped to her wrist. She noticeable lacked the strength to move beyond slightly turning her head, and even if she could it would be no use, framed by the two people she loved most on either side, as Luna held onto her like she would never let go again. She eased her head back onto the pillow. _Shit_.

Unlike Luna the older Mirialan slept through most of the next day, and if she woke it was for mere seconds before losing contentiousness again, giving the girl plenty of time to get to know her _Mommy_ better. Ahsoka tried her best to keep the girl occupied. She had spend the late hours of the evening to get rid of the bodies. – One advantage of living on a Hut moon was nobody caring about who you drop in the streets so long there aren’t any valuables left on the bodies; Most of the equipment had been gone once she returned to the scene. – so she was reasonably sure they were save for the moment, besides running with an incapacitated Barriss and a little girl, who were apparently on the run in some way, wasn’t an option anyway.

“Why did Mama tell me you are a dead?” Luna scrutinized, wrinkling her nose a little. Ahsoka had cooked them a meal, comprised mostly of the few things she found around the small kitchen. Mostly vegetables she vaguely recognized from her friend’s dietary needs during their time together as padawans. Now they were huddled on the ground next to the bed.

“Your Mama and I… I think she thought I was dead.” Ahsoka tried to convince her she didn’t really want to know.

“But why didn’t you try to find us then?” the girl not in the slightest impressed by her answer.

“I didn’t know she was alive either.” Ahsoka reasoned. It wasn’t that far off the truth.

“That doesn’t make sense.” Luna said, not all too convinced by the older woman’s words again.

“I...” Ahsoka thought about the birds and the bees and the fact she was positive there was no way neither by way of science nor chance she was actually the girl’s mother.

“Hey.” they were suddenly interrupted by the oldest woman’s quiet voice, prompting both their heads to snap towards the bed. Barriss was awake, her eyes open, an albeit pained, friendly smile on her face. Luna immediately started to tear up at the sight and hastily jumped up, crossing the short distance to throw her little arms around her mother. Ahsoka on the other hand took a step away, instinctively bringing space between them, instead of joining in.

“Ahsoka.” Barriss said, still barely audible, for a moment letting go of Luna, weakly gesturing at her with her hand. The other woman still stood glued to the spot. “I am sorry.” she eventually added, her words heavy with meaning, and held onto Luna again. “I am sorry for what I did.” the Mirialan started to tear up herself, but closed her eyes just in time for it not becoming to apparent.

“Come here.” she instructed the girl gingerly after a moment of silence, gently pulling at her hand, successfully trying to prompt her to get onto the bed, since she couldn’t get up herself. “We can cuddle.” she offered with another weak smile. A moment later she faded out of consciousness again, while Ahsoka just stood there, still more questions than answers.


	3. Scaring

This still didn’t make any sense; Ahsoka was pacing up and down in the small space there actually was inside the tiny hut. How could it?

It’s been over a week since the attack, and Barriss was slowly recovering from her wound. It probably took a little longer than it should have, in no small part due to the fact Ahsoka really sucked at healing. Kolto is good and well, but they were lucky their attackers were probably supposed to take them alive, otherwise that blasterbold might have killed her instead of punching a nice hole into her. Fuck. How did she manage to get herself into this… this clusterfuck? Again.

The Togruta stopped in her tracks for a moment, as her eyes randomly fell on the little girl’s form, sleeping at her mother’s side, small, content snores bubbling out her mouth as she held her stuffed animal ever tightly. Barriss wasn’t unconscious most of the time for a few days now, but somehow they had, as per usual really, managed to avoid the admittedly very cute elephant in the room. Said elephant spending most of her time needling Ahsoka about her great deeds that her mother had apparently described to her in great detail. – Not only was she apparently her mother, but also her favorite bedtime story.

Fuck she sighted again, and after another moment watching both the Mirialans sleep, her expression inadvertently softening at the sight, she breathed another sigh of distress, before fleeing the scene. She wouldn’t be able to sleep anyway. Didn’t most night, save for a few hours unaccounted for in her memory, she couldn’t be really sure she didn’t spend actually staring at the image of the gas giant the moon was orbiting. ‘Thinking’

Needless to say, disregarding the notion of her parentage, Luna had quickly, and effortlessly at that, wiggled her way in the already very friendly Ahsoka’s heart. There undeniably was a lot of her mother in the little girl, but also a cheerful curiosity and intense lack of reservations, that didn’t really match her mother’s personality. If she didn’t know Ahsoka would have said she actually was her daughter in that.

“You are up.” Ahsoka assessed unnecessarily, immediately jumped of her seat at the small table, where she patiently watched Luna work a large sheet of paper with finger paint and answering another dozen or so of her question, since the moon’s atmosphere had decided to grace them with the intense acidic rain, that was rather unpleasant at best, all day. Luna, who had her back towards the bed, scrunched her nose a little the woman’s extremities left her grasp, but spun around at least as fast, hands still covered on paint, once she became aware of the reason.

The older Mirialan winced at a sudden rush of pain going through her body, making her slump a little, and quasi immediately making Ahsoka round the table to catch her, a telling worry on her face.

“I’m fine.” she held up the hand that didn’t spring to the bandage around her abdomen, but took a few steadying breaths regardless, closing her eyes until the pain started fading again. Even if she hadn’t returned to her old strength, at least a warm, lively colour had returned to her features, Ahsoka couldn’t help but notice.

“You are not.” the Togruta protested regardless. “Lie back down!” she demanded, almost pleadingly.

“I can manage. You did a very good job at healing.” Barriss bargained, but even now they knew each other far too well for Ahsoka not seeing right through her, because that statement was most definitely bullshit. A blink of an eye later her treacherous body defied her, as she suddenly had to steady herself against the metal beam next to her.

“Mama.” Luna as if to drive Ahsoka’s point home, got off her seat and ran over, cleaning her hands on the fabric of her own dress, before instinctively throwing her arms around the woman’s legs, holding onto her tightly.

“Hey, Lovebug.” Barriss greeted her, reassuringly padding her head, and softly smiling down at her. Ahsoka could see the pained expression she was clearly hiding, and her heart was aching for her all the same. Fuck. It took all the Togruta’s concentration to force some sort of composure onto her face. This stupid feeling she had thought she got rid of a long time ago. Precisely when the woman had declared to the whole senate she would do it all again, and her heart shattered in thousands of pieces. Because they were friends and she trusted her. Sure, that was an explanation that would do. Fuck.

“At least sit down. You still need to recuperate.” Ahsoka managed with some measure of authority in her voice, almost proud of herself, as she channelled her inner Obi Wan. Strangely her words had the intended effect, and the Mirialan looked up, meeting her gaze halfway, surprise and something else entirely in her expression, before gently shuffling Luna to her side with her hand and slowly limping towards the table, until Ahsoka caught up with her, without hesitation throwing her arm around her waist and supporting her shoulder to keep her upright.

“Do you want something to eat?” Ahsoka asked neutrally in wanting of anything else to say, –Well, in wanting of the willingness at least. – as Barriss against all common sense picks Luna up from next to her, with a noticeable grimace of pain placing her in her lap, so she can continue her painting, prompting Ahsoka do inflate her cheeks but not say anything more.

“That _you_ cooked?” Barriss pointedly raised an eyebrow at her. It was obviously meant to be a joke, but Ahsoka’s face nonetheless lit up with protest, as she unfolded and refolded her arms in front of her body.

“No, Luna did, if that’s more to your liking.” she instead snarked back, defiantly narrowing her eyes at the other woman.

“What a relief.” Barriss rolled her eyes at that, although a soft smile appeared on her pain-stricken face. “Because at least it will be edible then.”

“But I didn’t cook.” Luna protested looking up and between them with a question expression, in an instant resolving the tension that was building between the women. Both of them immediately looked like they wanted to hug and adore her for that.

“So Ah… your Mommy is lying?” The Mirialan turned towards _their_ daughter, smiling softly, the words bringing the same pained expression to Ahsoka’s face like the first time. Every time since Luna so had so grandiosely declared her her mother, really. She even started fidgeting a little.

So apparently they were introducing the girl to the general concept of sarcasm now. Great. Luna scrunched her nose at the words, again looking between them to find clues what she was supposed to say to that, visibly conflicted about agreeing Ahsoka was lying.

  
  
“You tell me. You are the expert.” the words slipped Ahsoka’s tongue, almost like her brain had no say in it. She wasn’t sure if it was her frustration speaking; Her urge to finally make sense of this all. But if she didn’t hear them herself, she would have denied saying them in the first place, and she immediately cringed, an apologetic expression settling on her face the moment she completely comprehended what she just said.

A t first the Mirialan’s expression darkens at that, shooting Ahsoka an almost hostile look, but still starting to uncomfortably shift in her seat. She supposed the topic had to come up sometime. Couldn’t be helped. She would still have hoped it would have been in a more graceful way. On the other hand, it was Ahsoka Tano, master of tact and rhetorical finesse she was thinking about right now.

“Luna, can you go listen to the holo book we started the other day?” Barriss said neutrally, willing a friendly tone into her voice, playfully poking the girl’s side for emphasis.

Luna looked up from her painting a little irritated, shooting them both a bunch of questioning looks, but seeing the seriousness on her mother’s face, quickly shrugged and let herself be lifted off her comfortable seat in her lap to amble over to the bed under both women’s wary eyes.

“’There something you want to say?” Barriss began all too sharply, most certainly sharper than she had intended and straightened herself out as much as possible to meet the other woman head on, now in turn making the Togruta squirm uncomfortably in her spot.

“No, I… I’m sorry. I did mean… That came out wrong.” Ahsoka tried to salvage her verbal lapse, her eyes practically pleading with the shorter woman to just let it go. There looks lingered for a moment, both quietly eyeing the other.

“No. You are right. The least I can do is give you an explanation.” Barriss replied seriously, distant, then nodded her head backwards, pointing the other woman’s attention at the little now rather contently sitting on the bed, her legs graciously folded under her, a way too big set of headphones resting atop her head, as she looked at the screen of the tablet in front of her. Ahsoka swallowed thickly at that, but didn’t say anything else, only nodding her agreement. Still the short exchange was followed by a way too long pause, leaving them both with their thoughts. I was probably good Ahsoka had never been that great at reading people’s mind, to begin with. Otherwise this could have been an even more awkward moment.

“How… Is this even possible?” Ahsoka was the first to speak up regardless, pointedly looking at Luna over Barriss’ shoulder, tilting her head and nodding inquisitively.

“It’s not.” Barriss replied flatly, couldn’t help but roll her eyes at the apparent fact Ahsoka was even unsure about that.

“Then why...”

“I needed to tell her _something_.” Barriss sighed, paused again.

“How?” Ahsoka said softly, visibly dreading the answer now.

“When the killing started, one of the clones reasoned since we were prisoners without a connection to the force, we weren’t Jedi, so they let us go before the Emperor’s supporters could reach the prison. At least the people in my block.” Barriss explained calmly, albeit with a vaguely sad expression on her face. Ahsoka nodded again to indicate she was following.

“I stayed on Coruscant for as long as I could; Hiding from the Empire. After a year or so I met another former padawan who promised to know someone who could get us off world. A small group of padawans actually. Mostly women. Turns out that someone was working for an outer rim warlord that thought he could get himself his own Jedi army.” Barriss said, making air quotes, then paused to fully let the implication set in. After only a second Ahsoka’s face turns lighter with terror, only to be replaced by quickly bubbling anger another moment later, as she was visibly struggling with the information, barely could look at her. Almost couldn’t bear the thought.

“I’m going to spare you the details.” Barriss added grimly, even averting her eyes for a while, before continuing her story.

“Luckily they lacked the means to keep us in stasis or the likes. And when I was about halfway through, I started feeling the force again. Not like before. More like a distant echo. But it was there and grew stronger the farther I was along. It was only through her, but shortly before she was born I busted myself out of there. I wanted to take the others with me… but I couldn’t… It didn’t…. I had to think about myself. And _her_.” the Mirialan was almost more aggrieved by her inability to save others then by the whole ordeal itself. It took her a moment to compose herself again.

“I eventually ended up here.” she went on more calmly. “Then, when she was old enough, not that long ago actually, she started asking questions about her other parent, since all her friend’s seemed to have two. Or had at some point. So I told her about the only person I could think of to fill that role at time. That I thought she would be able to look up to. And that _I_ cared enough for.”

“It was easy actually. One of her friends has two mothers, so she had a vague concept and knew the basics. That it can only be a girl and all that. She practically needled me about it all the time.”

“But...” Ahsoka finally found her voice.

“ _But_ , I left out the detail where this only works within the same species or near humans and humans. Not two near humans. But it made her happy, and by the time she would learn about that I would hope she might be able to handle the truth. Some version of it. And for all I knew you were dead, like all the other Jedi, remember? So no harm no foul. Right? How was I supposed to know, out of hundreds of cartel controlled worlds, she would find you on the market at this exact moment.”

“I’m so sorry...” Ahsoka began, but fell silent again, and for a moment looked like she was about to tear up. She might have wanted to ask why she took her name of all things, but can’t bring herself to make her go through all of it again, anymore than she already had. She could add two and two together.

“It’s alright. You have nothing to be sorry about. None of this was _your_ fault.” Barriss replies barely audible, voice almost breaking. “Just--” She went on more steady “–keep pretending? I understand if you gotta leave again. Or don’t want to stay. You have any right to…. Just while you are here… _For her._ ”

Ahsoka’s first impulse again was to simply round the table and hug her. Tell her that all was forgiven. It’s the only thing she could think of. How much she missed her. And it’s true; She thought the Mirialan surely had died back then too, and now even felt guilty for not going and getting her, when she had the chance. “It’s not _alright_.” she went on to insist. “That day…. That day was the worst day of my life.” Ahsoka established sadly. Both of them were very well aware of all the other days supposedly easy being able to compete for that title. And she still chose that one.

Apparently Barriss took her instance as an affirmation of her guilt; Of the terrible thing she had done to _her only friend_. But Ahsoka caught on surprisingly quickly, immediately amending her statement. “But, I would have never wanted for you to go through any of this. I couldn’t. I...” she stopped herself. “Nobody deserves something like that.”

“Well, it wasn’t all bad. I have Luna now.” Barriss said a little sadly, but a genuine smile appeared on her face nonetheless, as she turned around to take a look at the girl, who was still sufficiently distracted. “Will you play along?” a worried expression starts to spread on the Mirialan’s face.

“I… Yes. Of course. For all she knows I _am_ her mother. And I like her.” Ahsoka added with a somewhat forced smile. “I won’t leave until you are all healed up.” she established strongly. “But don’t blame me if I’m a bad influence.” a more cheerful smile returned to the Togruta’s expression, that the other woman quickly begins to mirror.

“I suppose that’s a risk I have to take.” she replied, suddenly almost shyly.

“Don’t worry about anything else. I’m… I might take some time to… _adjust_ to all of this.” Ahsoka gestured vaguely around them. “But I’m not upset with you anymore. I haven’t been for a long time. I’m happy you are alive.” the last words came out noticeably quieter than the rest.

“Okay.” Barriss replied meekly. “Thank you.”

“It’s going to scar.” Ahsoka assessed, as she removed the last layer of bandages around the shorter woman’s abdomen.

“And who’s fault is that?” Barriss replied lightly, without the tension from this morning.

“Maybe you are just a crappy teacher?” Ahsoka playfully scrunched her nose at the comment.

“Not even Luminara could have taught _you_.”

“Why don’t _you_ show me again, then?”

Luna followed the exchange from her spot on the surface of the bed next where her mothers, a mixture of amazement and bewilderment on her face, as the Mirialan simply took the taller woman’s hand in hers, prompting her to fall silent at the touch, and brought to the bruised and still noticeably hurt spot at her side.

“Concentrate on the life force in the tissue.” she instructed calmly, while Ahsoka’s eyes followed her hand’s path onto the soft skin, only briefly trailing off towards the trim of the binding around her chest, before she quickly caught herself. “Can you feel it?”

“Yes. I think.”

“Don’t think about healing me.” Barriss cautioned calmly. “Concentrate on the life force. You have trained spuring and suppressing candles, right?”

“Yeah.”

“Think of it like that. Try to spur the life force.”

“It’s working!” Ahsoka all but exclaimed. The tissue indeed started to visibly heal under her touch, or at least it felt like it, and the spots that already had begun scaring returned to a new liveliness. Luna watched the ordeal with wonder.

“Good work, Soka.” Barriss said gingerly. Strangely the words made Ahsoka’s hand recoil quasi violently, and she hastily straightened out her posture, folding her hands in her lap. After a moment of awkward silence, Barriss pointedly grabbed a new set of bandages, holding it out towards the other woman with a wry smile. “Can you?”

“ _Oh_ , _Uh_ , Yes, of course!” Ahsoka hastily began reapplying the bandages to the shorter woman’s body. What was up with her all of the sudden? They just made up. Sort of. And it’s not like… like… She has seen her butt naked before. It’s been a while but still. Dammit Ahsoka!

“Thank you.” Barriss rolled down her top over the bandages again, shuffling in her spot before sitting up next to Ahsoka, making final adjustments to her clothing.

“That was really cool.” Luna announced cheerfully and flopped down in the space between them, her stuffed animal tightly in her grip.

“Oh. Yes. Wasn’t it?” Ahsoka replied, scooting away a little to make the girl more comfortable.

“I can cook dinner.” Barriss after a short while blurted into the silence that followed. “I mean. I’m tired of your cooking. And I can manage standing for a little while.” she added.

“If you say so.” Ahsoka agreed. “Luna can keep me company.” she added, shooting the girl a warm smile. The statement quickly made the girl’s face explode with joy.

“Why does Mommy not sleep with us?” Luna inquired, knitting her little eyebrows together once Ahsoka started unfolding her bed roll next to the bed, and Barriss had a hard time to not spurt the cup of water she just drank through her nose, while Ahsoka started grimacing and gesturing vividly. Apparently the girl had determined now that her Mama had started fully participating in their day to day life, her Mommy had no reason to watch over her all night, anymore.

“The bed is a little small for the three of us.” Barriss argued once she had regained her composure. Ahsoka was gonna need another minute.

“I don’t think so.” Luna protested precociously, even pouting a little.

“Mommy can sleep with us if she wants to.” Barriss conceded, shooting Ahsoka a lopsided smile. She supposed the bed actually was big enough for the three of them. Ahsoka would probably refuse if she offered to trade places with her, so she might as well offer to share.

“Oh, no. I mean, your Mama is still hurt, right? It’s better for her to have to share the bed only with you, sweetheart.” Ahsoka tried to reason. The girl didn’t look convinced, at all. Barriss suddenly shot Ahsoka a somewhat intense look, curtly nodding her head towards the bed and then towards Luna, reminding her of commitment to her story.

“I guess, if it’s alright with Mommy, I can.” Ahsoka said, but pursed her lips and looked away for a moment. “Like always?” she asked meekly, rubbing the side of her arm with her other hand. Such a typical Ahsoka gesture, Barriss thinks, and a strange content feeling started creeping into her mind. A way too vivid memory of their past, that had absolutely nothing to do with their current situation, she determined, as the tips of her fingers started digging in the surface of the bed.

“Yeah.” the Mirialan eventually replied and gently hugged Luna, pulling her closer to the front of her body and scooting towards the far edge of the bed, so Ahsoka could take her spot behind her, because that was really the only way all three of them would fit into the small bed.

“Do you mind?” Ahsoka’s arm awkwardly hovered over them.

“Of course not.” Barriss replied, her voice all but sure about the statement, and Ahsoka gingerly wrapped her arm around her waist, her hand now resting on the other woman’s arm holding onto Luna. They did this dozens of times. Sure the appendixes of Ahsoka’s head were a little more voluminous than back then, but they were also soft and comfortable to rest again. And she knew Ahsoka didn’t mind at all.

“Good night, sweetheart.” Barriss murmured to the girl.

“Good night, Mama.” the girl replied through a small yarn. “Good night, Mommy.”

Ahsoka spend another moment shifting restlessly before she finally managed to settle comfortably.

_Fuck._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So, I woke up this morning, bathed in cold sweat over the idea someone might want to find a pro life argument in there. I assure you there is not. I am as pro choice as can be. Luna was simply there first and all con explainations wouldnt have made sense if I Barriss is supposed to be a lesbian. I mean I could hav ignored the lore fact that near humans are generally not supposed to be able to interbreed. But then Id would have to come up with a reason why Barriss did it... Well, enough of my irrational fears. Have a nice day!


	4. Ghosts

Luna’s eyes went wider and wider, the more the Togruta’s muscles flexed, her fingers dug into the edge of the full metal radiator she found among the pile of scrap in the small open space behind their little house. Her eyes were pressed shut, her mouth curling slightly downwards and revealing her fangs, the grimace on her face could have been mistaken for pain, before with a loud scream of breaking and ripping metal the piece snapped in half, the impulse sending the two halves flying in opposite directions, accompanied by an intense groan of relieve on Ahsoka’s part.

“Wow, you are so strong.” Luna assessed after the sound of the parts crashing into the surrounding scrap stopped ringing across the small yard. They have been out here for quite some time. After not leaving Barriss’ side for over a week, Ahsoka had decided she wanted to at least not get out of shape too much.

“I guess I am.” Ahsoka breathlessly turned towards the girl sitting on large chunk of debris nearby, her legs dangling closely above the ground, and smiled. “But the force helped a lot. I’m not actually that strong without it.” she informed her with another smile.

Luna only nodded along with her explanation, cheerfully watching the Togruta go on with her training. The woman picked up a piece of pipe from another heap of scrap and leaped a few inches into the air, wedging it in between two larger pieces of machinery stuck fairly high above her own height, only to turn towards Luna and jumping up there again, this time catching the pipe in her grasp, and started doing pull-ups.

“One hundred.” Luna’s cheerful voice announced a few minutes later, cheering on her _Mommy_. After adding a single one handed pull up while with a wide grin playfully bracing her other hand against her own hip for show, Ahsoka eventually let her self plummet to the ground again, effortlessly landing on her feat, and strode over to Luna, on the way getting rid of the completely soaked tank top she was still wearing, before slouching down next to the girl and picking up her water bottle.

As usual if it wasn’t raining acid, it was a rather muggy heat on lower levels of the surface, so the water practically didn’t do anything to relieve the heat, except rehydrating the Togruta a little. Ahsoka seemed wholly unfazed by the warmth though, leisurely gazing across the open space.

“Can I try?” Luna asked enthusiastically, after a moment, already jumped to her feet.

“Pull-ups?” Ahsoka turned towards her a little surprised. “I mean, if you like? I can give you a lift up there.” she added friendly.

“Don’t worry, I’ll stay right here. My hands are right underneath you the whole time.” she assured the girl who held onto the pipe confidently. Luna pretty easily did about three pull-ups, but noticeably started struggling on the forth. A moment went by with her unsuccessfully trying to do another before her grip slipped and she started falling, only to be caught in between Ahsoka’s hands the blink of an eye later.

“That wasn’t that bad.” Ahsoka commented warmly, as she set the girl down on solid ground again, giggling contently at the woman’s fingers tickling her side in the process.

“My arms hurt.” Luna scrunched her nose adorably and started shaking herself.

“Do you want to drink something? There is still water in the bottle.” the Togruta replied, offering the girl the container.

“ _Thanks_.” Luna replied politely, and sat down on her spot again. Ahsoka couldn’t help but pat her head, accompanied by a soft smile, before returning to the centre of the small space, right underneath the makeshift pullup bar, and rolled her body forward into a handstand, again facing Luna, greeting her with a wink when their eyes met again, that the girl answered with a cheerful giggle.

If she was enthusiastic about Ahsoka doing pullups, she truly was in awe over the woman doing a one handed hand stand and levitating different small items laying around them she had specifically picked out while looking around the yard before closing her eyes. Ahsoka still wasn’t that versed in the more spiritual side of the force, but incorporating these small stretches of mediation into her work out had helped a lot these past years. She even managed to deliberately conjure visions of the past and the future, if she mediated for real. _A_ _lthough_ her views on the future admittedly were only vague, surreal.

After switching hands a few times, she took another short pause, joking and laughing with Luna, before rounding off her workout with a few sets of mundane squats, dips and crunches. It might not have been the most balanced workout, but she didn’t feel like going full physical training in this heat.

“Look!” Luna made Ahsoka look up from intensely eyeing the ground as she cooled down. The girl was doing a handstand, what ever pain she had felt from the pull-ups forgotten. Suddenly the sort Mirialan decided she was going to do a one handed hand stand too, quickly forcing Ahsoka to catch her with force, before she could hurt herself falling over.

“Luna.” She said maybe a little too loud; Too worried.

“I’m alright!” Luna laughed happily, floating in the air closely over the ground and flailing her extremities in joy.

“Please be careful.” Ahsoka sighted, trying to ignore how much she must have sounded like the short brunette’s Mama, but then grabbed the girl from the air and started to vigorously tickle her, until she was almost exhausted from laughing, sitting on top of Ahsoka, who lay down flat in the dirt, tears of joy in her eyes.

“I’ll try to mediated for a bit. You don’t have to stay with me if you don’t want to, it’s going to be pretty boring.” Ahsoka said, as she lifted her off herself and sat up again.

“I can meditate too!” Luna informed her, quasi sounding insulted by the notion she might have wanted to leave her Mommy’s side.

“Okay.” Ahsoka raised her brows at her. She didn’t really know what she expected. She was Barriss’ daughter after all.

It probably was a good thing that the small viewport towards the back of the wreck they called a house was well obfuscated by a few rows of beams and large chunks of debris. It wasn’t that she didn’t trust Ahsoka with Luna. She knew her old friend had cared for her a lot already during the past week; Without her supervision. And she almost felt like she was intruding on something, a kind of lighthearted fun that had never been her particular virtue. That had always been way she enjoyed Ahsoka’s company so much in the past. It was just that even after already spending quite some time together, she had to remind herself, that she was real, and there, and for the time being there to stay. See her with her own eyes.

She also knew it was wrong to look. Lose herself in her longing gaze, committing every small detail of the scene to memory, so she would remember once it was over. When did Ahsoka become so _strong_? She had always been the better fencer of the two, that was understood. But after all these years, seeing the lanky, slightly taller girl she used to know, grown into this woman…

Barriss was unable to tear away her eyes from shoulder muscles, partially hidden under her back tail, strong arms pulling her weight into the air effortlessly, quick alternations of tension. The muscles converging around her spine on her lower back steadying her whole body, as she held her legs bend towards her back. She didn’t miss the scars either. Graces and near misses of blasters, a badly treated lightsabre burn across her arm, noticeable discolourations and marks on her skin. Barriss becomes suddenly aware that she might not be the only one that went through something since they had last seen each other.

And then she smiled at Luna. This carefree, cheerful smile that used to always cheer her up when she felt particularly broody. Before it all happened. Suddenly the locked eyes for the shortest moment, or they must have. She couldn’t really tell if Ahsoka actually saw her, but it’s finally enough for her to look away, grand them their togetherness. Even if Ahsoka didn’t care, it meant so much to Luna.

“We are home.” Ahsoka greeted cheerfully as she put Luna down after carrying her on her back the short distance. The tank was back on, but didn’t really help, and Barriss had what could only be described as a hard time, formulating a reply.

“Hey, Lovebug.” She said eventually, slowly, still hurt, cowering down to greet the girl coming right at her, her arms wide let herself picked up again. “Did you have fun?”

“Yeah!” Luna replied happily, but her body noticeably lost most of its tension once she was in her mother’s grip. “But now I’m tired.” she informed them matter-of-factly, confirming the obvious.

“And hungry?”

Luna only hummed at that.

“But you need to wash up first. And you too, you stink.” She finally turned towards the Togruta who had patiently waited her turn, and immediately brought her hand to her chest in feign affront.

“Excuse me, my scent is the most pleasant smell, ever.” Ahsoka argued what probably was supposed to be seriously.

“You are gross.” Barriss replied sternly, before the word could take hold in her mind, but had a hard time hiding the smile creeping into her face.

“Alright, alright.” Ahsoka shrugged. “For you.” she purred in that sarcastic Ahsoka tone, that still made the Mirialan’s voice jump half an octave all of the sudden.

“Can you take her with you? Water was a little low yesterday, I don’t want to take any risks.” Barriss tried to find a point vaguely near Ahsoka’s face to look at instead.

“Sure. Come here, kiddo.” Ahsoka took over the girl form Barriss, not the slightest hint of any animosity in her voice. They were close, very close for the shortest moment, but there was no tension like before. Or a different tension. But it felt completely natural at the same time, and Barriss had to consciously try to not take a step back.

“We will be right back, _Mama_.”

“Right, sure… I… It’s okay if you use all the water. Don’t forget to take some clothes with you.” the Mirialan gathered her thoughts. “I really don’t need you to prance around here naked and getting water everywhere.” she added for good measure, to emphasize how much she wouldn’t be able to take that sight right now. Also, what was wrong with her?

_This is the woman, your best friend, in who’s back you all to willingly drove a knife to save yourself, why would she even care you feel that way?_

No, no,  if anything,  it was just her hormones. Nothing else.  They were just reunited. She missed her. That w as all.

“Sorry, I don’t have any spare cloths left...” Ahsoka scratched her head, pointedly look away with lopsided smile. The taller woman stood there in her simple grey fabric underwear and another tank top made from the same simple material, Luna next to her in her pyjama, a towel wrapped around her head, face radiating with happiness.

Barriss at first raised an eyebrow at the pair, but then her eyes began trailing over the Togruta’s body.  _Again_ . This time toned, muscular legs. She quickly managed to catch herself, though, training her eyes at the centre of Ahsoka’s face instead. She had specifically  t old  her  she could add her clothes to the laundry when going to clean their clothes the other day.

“These are one size fits all...” she informed Ahsoka, as she procured a set of black, standard issue space leggings in what looked like pristine condition, from the drawer under the bed. “Until we can get your clothes washed tomorrow.”

“Thank you...” Ahsoka replied meekly, but nonetheless smile somewhat roguishly at her.

“Barriss.”; “Mama.”; “Barriss!”

“What...” the Mirialan shot up in between Ahsoka and Luna. She apparently had been on her back, the other two looking at her with worried expressions. She was drenched in cold sweat and tears in her eyes, and felt a little dizzy from sitting up this fast. It takes her a moment to orientate herself, giving the other woman more time to get even more worried, as the Mirialan’s mind slowly began to gather what memory she had of the dream she had just been torn from. Not a pleasant one.

“You had a nightmare.” Ahsoka informed her gingerly, a hand carefully making contact with her arm. “Does this happen often?” the question was obviously directed at the girl.

“Like once a week.” Luna replied truthfully, but immediately looked up at her mother, looking for reassurance it was okay for her to tell Ahsoka that.

“I’m sorry, did I wake you?” Barriss replied softly, the matter of her inquiry bringing an incredulous expression to Ahsoka’s face.

“How does that matter? You have frequent nightmares. That’s not okay.” the taller woman argued somewhat petulantly.

“And what am I supposed to do about it? _Ahsoka_.” she paused, reigning in the audible anger in her voice and expression. “The past is in the past. I can’t change it. And you most certainly can’t either.” she said with finality. “Let’s go back to sleep.”

Ahsoka looked like she wanted to protest, argue the point, but then only nodded, waiting for the other woman to retake her spot in between them before nestling closer, this time holding onto her maybe a little tighter than before.

“You can talk to me about it.” Ahsoka began in between sips from her almost pleasant coffee substitute. Her expression was empathic, vaguely pitiful. Luna was out, playing with some of her friends in the yard behind the buildings.

“That’s the thing, though.” Barriss calmly looked up from the pad in her hand. “You are the only person I can’t.” She hated herself for the words the moment they left her mouth.

“Why?” Ahsoka followed up more quietly. Sad. “I forgave you a long time ago. And I think this is the path I was always meant to be on.” There was nothing but honesty in her voice, and worried expression on her face. She never thought she would come to see all grown up Ahsoka, Barriss thought to herself. She liked that version. Cheerful and friendly, but also thoughtful and more measured in her responses. She stopped her train of thought right in time, pushing the emotion bubbling in her head to the back before it could spiral out of control.

“What is your forgiveness supposed to mean, if I can’t forgive myself.” she suddenly found the words to accurately describe her feelings. “As I said. There is nothing you can do about it.”

Suddenly she finds Ahsoka’s hand on top of her own, her strong fingers gently squeezing, and pulling her closer. Ahsoka looks as surprised as her, apparently takes a moment to consider the gesture that felt like she hadn’t any control over to begin with. Still the same empathic expression on her face.

“But you said it yourself. The past is in the past. I forgave you. The Jedi are gone. The Republic is gone. There is no one else to give you absolution. No one to judge you or seek forgiveness from. Only you, me and her. And I don’t think… _she_ would love you any less if she knew everything.”

“I...” Barriss retracted her hand, fixating the Togruta’s for a moment. Contemplating her words. “Maybe you are right.” she conceded. “But I need time.”

“Okay.” Ahsoka said, calmly. And that was that.

“Looks all healed up.” Ahsoka assessed, peeking under the bandage. “And it didn’t scar all that much either.” she grinned friendly. “Must be a really talented healer.”

“ _Hmmmm_.” Barriss hummed in mock disagreement. “Or I just have great healing.”

“Hey!” Ahsoka protested, but still pulled went on completely removing the bandages, making way for Barriss to feel up the spot at her side herself, before inspecting it with a small mirror.

“You are right actually. That healed really well.” she finally agreed, before rolling down her top over her midriff again. They both sat there in silence for a moment, because by all accounts this might have been the moment they part ways again. This time probably for good.

“It was nice seeing you again.” Barriss began quietly. “I guess you held up your end of the bargain.”

“Right.” Ahsoka replied, tilting her head and narrowing her eyes, unsure what she was getting at.

“I suppose you gonna to get going again, now? Save the galaxy.” the Mirialan chuckled to herself sadly. “I understand.”

“ _Oh_ , _Uh_ yeah. I guess if you want me gone, I’m gone again.” the other woman replied sheepishly, her eyes trained at her hands folded in her lap. “It’s only fair. I mean. You have your life. And Luna and… I’ll come visit from time to time, if that’s okay.”

“No!” Barriss protested the notion of Ahsoka not being welcome at all.

“Oh. Okay. I mean, I understand...” Ahsoka began, although her expression faltered quickly.

“No. I mean, you don’t have to leave. And if you do, you are more than welcome to come visit.” she hastily iterated, probably louder than she needed to. “I don’t want you to go.”

“I missed you.” she admitted solemnly. “I missed you, and I am sorry for what I did to you.” another few tears rolled down the Mirialan’s face and she stifled a sob against the inside of her arm.

“I missed you too, you know? I miss Rex and Anakin and Obi-Wan and Padmé. But I missed you the most.” Ahsoka informed her quietly. She could go on about how she thought about busting her out of prison for the longest time, how she would sometimes wake up and dream about them. Their past. Just this time there was a happy end, and none of this happened. But that was probably not how it was going to end.

“We should probably get a bigger bed.” Barriss decided in a deadpan voice, a short, still vaguely sad laugh filling the silence after their admission. Her words immediately brought a wide grin to Ahsoka’s face, tearing her from her train of thought. Just like old times. “Or get Luna her own.”

“I feel like _our_ daughter might have an opinion on her own on that subject.” Ahsoka laughed friendly as both of them looked forward, after all still avoiding each other’s gaze.

“Do you think we can ever be friends again?” Barriss asked heavily, again breaking the cheerful atmosphere.

“Aren’t we?” Ahsoka scrunched her nose and raised an eyebrow at the other woman, voice filled with feign affront.

“Just making sure.” Barriss explained quietly.

“Always.” Ahoska added warmly, bumping shoulders with the brunette for emphasis, the gesture prompting her to let her head fall against the Togruta’s shoulder. Maybe it was okay to be selfish from time to time. Even if she would never get what her heart desired. At least she had her best friend back. That had to do.


	5. Promise I

Ahsoka loved living with Luna and Barriss. She had always been aware she missed the Mirialan woman, that somehow managed through all she had been through look exactly the same she did all these years ago. A little older maybe, more like Luminara, she often mused when she could be sure Barriss wasn’t looking. But she could have never known the feeling of comfort and almost irrational security her presence would give her again. She was still technically on the run. Had to disappear, and hide from the empire. Yet it seemed completely vague and almost secondary to _this_.

She knew it was wrong – From a Jedi’s point of view – to even entertain these thoughts, let alone dwell on them, and it scared her, after all that had happened, they were able to settle into a comfortable routine like this. _As friends_. Like nothing happened.

“Ow.” Ahsoka growled as she hit the dirt in the backyard, face first. “How is this even possible? You are even faster than you used to be.” she propped herself up on her hands, shooting the Mirialan standing over her a questioning look. The woman had somehow managed to lever her into another increasingly obscure throw for what must have been the twentieth time. She honestly started to recent Mirialan martial arts, with their no direct violence approach.

“Maybe you are slower than you used to be.” Barriss smiled impishly, but offered her hand to pull the Togruta back to her feet. Their sparing session was going on for the better part of two hours, but Ahsoka had been unsuccessful in her attempts to so much as bringing the shorter woman to her knees. It didn’t help that she was bend on sticking by her commitment of not ‘cheating’ by using the force. Luna of course found their contest more than entertaining, cheering with glee every time Ahsoka went down. _That little traitor._

Ahsoka only rolled her eyes at the comment, but nonetheless took her hand, letting herself be pulled to her feet and inadvertently much closer to the other woman’s body. As increasingly often these days, she found herself lingering closely, staring down into the sea of blue looking up at her with that strange, soft, almost vulnerable expression, before eventually tearing herself away and pointedly dusting off her pants with her hands.

“I think I have enough for one day.” she announced more cheerfully. “I still want to be able to count my bruises without using my toes.” she added.

_I could help you._

“ _Oh, Uh, Yeah._ I’m sorry. I didn’t mean…” Barriss immediately began, waving her hands apologetically, her expression faltering.

“Don’t worry, I can take it.” Ahsoka replied, narrowing her eyes and tilting her head at her outburst of worry, before a grin appeared on her face, and she flipped the Mirialan on her butt with a little force push.

“Cheater!” Barriss protested in feign indignation, but couldn’t really keep herself from smiling and they both broke into a heartfelt laugh that Luna quickly joined.

“Do you wanna take a shower first? I can take care of food.” Ahsoka said, once they finished their laughing fit, and Barriss held Luna in her grasp in front of her body. _A_ _nd_ failed to hide the enamoured look she was shooting the shorter woman, that luckily currently only had eyes for the girl in her lap, giving her enough time to shake it off. Sort of.

“Did you hear that? Your Mommy is going to cook.” Barriss said cheerfully, gently tickling Luna. “Do you think we will survive that?” she added dramatically.

“ _Uh Huh_.” Luna hummed happily, and smiled brightly at her Mommy.

“If you say so.” her mother replied, now grinning up at Ahsoka, two sets of blue eyes smiling at the taller woman expectantly. The Togruta wanted to throw a snappy reply at her, but there suddenly was this feeling again, twisting and turning her guts while she could feel her heart rate pick up, and she was all but lost for words at the sight, and after a moment of awkward silence, quickly spun around on her heel, before walking off to begin preparing the food.

“Did you ever try to regain it?” Ahsoka asked gingerly once Luna was fast asleep in front of Barriss’ body. She had been considering the question for a while now; She supposed Barriss told her all she wanted her to know about it. She either didn’t or didn’t want to regain that power that was more of burden to longer she had thought about it since the had been torn from each other the last time. Her words were followed by a long moment of silence, although even Ahsoka could feel that the other woman had heard them by the feelings radiating form her all of the sudden, that even made Luna stir, even though she is pretty sure to the girl it was more a vague discomfort she couldn’t place, rather then conscious empathy.

“Yes. Didn’t work.” she whispered curtly. “I gave up. I don’t need it, anyway.” she added, followed, then pointedly quietly cleared her throat to get Ahsoka to drop the subject. The Togruta was quasi stunned by her reply. The resignation. The words didn’t miss their intended effect.

“Okay.” Ahsoka replied meekly, shifting uncomfortably as she could feel the Mirialan’s intent on breaking contact for a brief moment. “I’m sorry. I shouldn’t have asked.” Because she knew how integral her identity as a Jedi and the Mirialan culture were to the other woman’s self-perception.

“It’s alright.” Barriss replied evenly, and settled against the warmth of Ahsoka’s body again, and her emotions noticeably calmed down. “I just don’t want to talk about it.” she added more quietly.

“Okay.” Ahsoka repeated dumbly, which pretty much marked the end of the conversation. “Good night, Barriss.”

“Good Night, Soka.”

“What are you doing?” Ahsoka raised an eyebrow at Luna who was rummaging through the box of her mother’s scarfs.

“I’m picking a scarf.” Luna informed her matter-of-factly, the only thing missing was a ‘ _Duh_ ’, and proceeded with throwing pieces of fabric over her head and eyeing herself in the small mirror next to her.

“I can see that.” Ahsoka replied, curious as to why the sudden interest in wearing a head scarf.

“Oh. Is it the fifth again, already?” Barriss joined the scene.

“Yep.” Luna replied, not taking her eyes off the mirror.

“What’s on the fifth?” Ahsoka asked a little irritated.

“We are going to the temple every fifth of the month. Luna doesn’t usually like wearing a scarf, but she saw all the other Mirialan women wearing one, so she decided she needed too when we go.” Barriss iterated warmly. “We missed the last time because I was still too hurt to go. Half of them I only bought for her.” she added with a soft smile.

“The temple?” Ahsoka parroted dumbfounded, giving the other woman a questioning look.

“Yeah, there is a small Mirialan temple in the lower town. There is a small community. People are very tight. I got a lot of help there when she was a still a baby.”

“ _Oh, Uh_ … I’m not invited then.” Ahsoka assessed sheepishly.

“You can come!” Barriss replied maybe a little too quickly. “I mean, we would need to tell them we are married, but as far as they know we are… I had to stick to my story.” she justified, her face turning a little browner nonetheless.

“If you don’t mind.” Ahsoka replied bashfully, her mind spinning out of control at the implications of the words. _Which, for the love of the force! Get your act together, Ahsoka._

“I think I will wear the pink on!” Luna announced, snapping her mothers out of their awkward exchange. The girl had a bright, pink, not really opaque headscarf skilfully draped around her neck and over her scalp, a few strains of her brown hair peaking out from under the fabric.

“That’s a very good choice, Lovebug.” Barriss quickly said, cowering down in front of the girl to make a few small adjustments to her work.

“What am I going to wear?” Ahsoka interjected. “I don’t really got any formal clothes...”

The last time she had been to a Mirialan temple many, many years ago, also didn’t exactly end as planed, which is not to say, Luminara and Barriss had to bail out the three of them from a magistrate, that didn’t take to kindly on the accidental damages to ‘invaluable cultural treasures’. And it hadn’t even been their fault really. Stupid Ventress.

“I have a pair of robes that should fit you. I know, black isn’t really your colour...” Barriss replied hesitantly and procured a pair of simple black robes that almost looked like something Anakin would have worn back in the day. They were short, and could be tied with a matching belt, their sleeves long enough to hide her hands. They also came with dark grey under robes. “Just wear the leggings with it.”

“Thank you.” Ahsoka said, still eyeing the ensemble up close. “I didn’t know you had clothes like that.”

“I’m just wearing hakama with them.” the Mirialan informed her neutrally, shrugged.

“That makes sense.” the taller woman replied a little dumbly. Incidentally, now come to think of it, she loved that outfit she had only seen once during said mission to Mirial.

“Lets get going.”

Admittedly the exterior didn’t look like much. The ‘temple’ might as well have been another chunk of space scrap, that could be entered through a very inconspicuous door.

“Hey, Barriss!” The young Mirialan man apparently guarding the entrance greeted them friendly. I Ahsoka’s opinion he did an okay job at blending in and not attracting too much attention to the entryway. “Luna. And...” he paused, looking Ahsoka over closely.

“Tabor, hey. That’s Ahsoka, my wife. I think I told you about her?” Barriss stepped in between them. There was the feeling again, the words punching the Togruta right into her stomach.

“You did. I reckon you also said she was dead?” the young man narrowed his eyes at the pair, shooting Ahsoka a wary look and taking a step forward, now completely blocking but her path.

“It’s a long story.” Barriss replied, narrowing her eyes, visibly annoyed by the air of importance, and nonetheless hooking her and Ahsoka’s arms together, pulling her closer and pointedly leaning into her. The man didn’t seem entirely convinced, still.

“Is Neminara in today?” she followed up. Ahsoka could only guess she was asserting some sort of authority through the name drop. – It worked, as he suddenly began grimacing a little, taking a step back and giving the three of them a somewhat apologetic look, still only after scrutinizing the Togruta for another second. It probably _did_ help she was also wearing the Mirialan’s clothes, to be fair.

“Oh, yes. She is in the temple, today.” he informed them after a moment.

“Thank you.” Barriss smiled at him innocently, and Ahsoka thought if she ever was proud of the other woman it was in this moment, because not even Obi-Wan and Luminara combined could have given him this kind of a smug look through such a polite smile.

“Thank you!” Luna parroted cheerily, adding insult to injury, waving at him enthusiastically as they passed inside.

“Nice to meet you, Ahsoka.” he said stiffly as the Togruta passed him.

“Nice to meet you, too!” Ahsoka replied with a barely contained grin on her face.

Ahsoka stood in awe at the fact that the inside of the supposed temple looked nothing like the outside. If she didn’t know better, this was as much a Mirialan temple as the one on Mirial they had been too. It was a half dark room, illuminated in large part only by an opening in a wall that let natural light in, and a wall of candles next to what Ahsoka thought was the main shrine. The structure of the interior is quasi completely compromised of wood and paper, and actually must have been pretty hard to come by, let alone construct. There weren’t that many people though, and those that were largely minded their own business, a woman and a young man praying and few others standing a little aside, quietly chatting.

“Barriss.” A warm, audibly aged voice snapped Ahsoka out of it, and an older Mirialan woman that might as well have been Luminara’ sister, although it was not beyond Ahsoka that the notion is a little racist – she looks very spiritual too, is what she tried to say – appeared in front of them, seemingly out of nothing. Her skin was a dark tone of green and wrinkly, adorned with many dark shapes, far more than on Barriss’ face. Grey hair was clearly visible from under the headscarf she had half heartedly draped over her head, still her green eyes where as radiant as Luna’s.

“Neminara.” Barriss smiled warmly, and in an instant let go of Ahsoka in favour of closing the distance between the two Mirialan women, to embrace her in a hug.

“Hello, aunt Neminara!” Luna greeted her too, her small hand still holding onto Ahsoka, though.

“Hello, Luna.” the older woman replied softly, gracing the girl with a warm, loving smile. “And who would that be?” she added, pointedly looking at Ahsoka, and before the Togruta could answer seizing her up while gently pinning her with her hands by the sides of her arms.

“That’s Ahsoka, I have told you about her...” Barriss’ informed the older woman sheepishly.

“So, _the_ Ahsoka.” Neminara commented cheerily, and strangely didn’t question her being alive at all.

_T_ _he Ahsoka._ Ahsoka’s mind took a moment to grasp the words.

“That’s my Mommy.” Luna chimed in, unhelpfully.

“Nice to finally meet you.” Neminara perfected Ahsoka’s confusion, while Barriss’ eyes were distracted by something at her feet apparently.

“It’s a long time since a have seen a Jedi in person.” Neminara calmly refilled her teacup, and Ahsoka raised her hand to decline. Barriss and Luna had abandoned her in favour of listening to some stories told by on of the priests in on of the small seat cushion circles, although she could practically feel Barriss’ eyes watching them over her shoulder from time to time since the priestess had asked to speak to her in private.

“I’m not...” Ahsoka began, but seeing the pitying look the older woman shot her paused, reconsidering her words. “It’s been a long time since I considered myself that.” she corrected.

“I see.” Neminara replied portentously and set down the teapot in between them, and Ahsoka could have sworn she also not so subtly looked at Barriss behind her.

“Your connection to the Force is strong, nonetheless. The shadow of your untimely death is still following you.” she followed up and smiled reassuringly. Somehow her calm had a soothing effect on Ahsoka too. Even though her words were troubling.

“My...” Ahsoka raised an eyebrow at the older woman.

“Don’t worry. You are not in danger. It’s just the breath of life you received still visible on you. Her power is strong in you.”

“I know. Most of the time it feels like my own, but sometimes it feels like she is there too.” Ahsoka caught on.

“There will be a time when you need it.”

“How do you know?”

“I saw it in _her_ future.” Neminara nodded her head at the two woman in the distance.

“I she in danger, am I...” Ahsoka suddenly started to worry, her voice agitated, eyes pleading.

“No. You need not worry about her. Nor about Luna.” the other woman replied ever calmly, and relieve washed over Ahsoka’s face. Somehow she felt she could trust her words.

“I can imagine it must be a challenge to reconcile your former training with your feelings.” Neminara now unsolicitedly refilled Ahsoka’s cup, prompting her to scrunch her nose irritatedly.

“My...”

“Please. I don’t need the force to see that.” she smiled warmly, and placed her hand on Ahsoka’s for emphasis.

“It’s not….” the Togruta protested, staring at the cup, but to no avail, as Neminara raised her eyebrows at her.

“Let’s say you are right.” Ahsoka bargained, to her dismay, her words prompting the older woman to chuckle lightly. “What do I do?”

“In my experience talking usually helps.” Neminara replied in an unexpectedly deadpan tone, her suddenly considerably less sublime demeanour taking the Togruta completely by surprise, and she barely resisted the urge to roll her eyes. How were platitudes supposed to help her? “ _Talking helps.”_ She muttered to herself.

They talked for another few minutes though, not about that obviously, but it was nice to actually have a more spiritual person to discuss some of the observations she had made about her powers during the years since leaving the Jedi.

“Feel free to visit any time.” Neminara said friendly, her voice loud enough for everyone to hear it. Ahsoka nodded thankfully, before joining Barriss and Luna who were waiting dutifully near the exit.

“What did you talk about?” Barriss inquired as casually as she could manage, wasn’t able to completely rid her face of the worry accompanying the inquiry.

“The Jedi, mostly. My death.” Ahsoka replied dryly, willing a smile onto her face.

“You died?” Luna’s eyes went wide as Ahsoka cringed at her mishap.

“Not really.” she waved her hand dismissively. “And I was brought back.” she relativised.

“Oh. Okay.” Luna was apparently satisfied, but the former Jedi could clearly feel the other woman’s worry.

“She said I am very strong.” Ahsoka reassured, instinctively took Barriss’ hand and squeezed it. “And she told me we are safe.” she purposefully omitted the fact the priestess’ statement hadn’t included herself.

“Neminara seams nice.” Ahsoka stated into the half dark of the late afternoon. Luna had already rushed inside to get rid of the headscarf and the two women were standing outside, their hands still linked from before. Somehow it hadn’t even occurred to either of them that they never let go.

“She is. I miss Luminara a lot. Having her to talk about _stuff_ helps.” the Mirialan replied hesitantly.

Another pause.

“Do you really think we are safe?” she suddenly inquired, turning them towards each other.

“I suppose I do. It’s been over a month. We...”Ahsoka fell silent at the word. _We_. That was the thing, wasn’t it. _We_. “If more were coming they would have come by now.”

“I think you are right.” Barriss nodded along with her assessment. “But...” _When are you going to leave? When does it end? How much time do we have?_

Ahsoka couldn’t think of anything but that image of Obi-Wan, sitting in that bar on the lower levels and getting black out drunk with Luminara for the forth day in a row after returning from Mandalore. The expression of grief and guilt on his face, that no amount of alcohol could have washed away. It actually made her decide to not pursue her feelings for her friend, despite what practically had amounted to Anakin and Padmé’s encouragement. Then it had happened. And she had always thought it to be sign. – A right decision made. Case closed. But now? She couldn’t do this anymore.

“I love you.” the words flowed out her mouth without her control; Automatically. It was a curt statement of fact. There was no doubt about it.

She could feel the Mirialan’s finger’s grasp tighten around her own, as she stared at her in disbelief and shock.

“I love you.” Ahsoka repeated. A little louder. More confidently.

“I’m sorry for not telling you back then. I’m sorry for what has happened. It’s all my fault.” she added sheepishly as there was still no answer, no sign of an actual reaction, and she struggled to hold Barriss’ gaze; Close to tears, as she suddenly let go of her hands, for an eternity the lost touch being the only answer she received.

Ahsoka feels the kiss with every nerve of her body. Her synapses are firing on high-alert. Barriss’ lips were soft and warm, and her touch filled her chest with a strange calm and at the same time she wanted to jump with joy, as smaller green hands gently wrapped around the ends of her tails, pulling their bodies closer together. She still couldn’t believe this was happening.

Happy. She felt happy. That was the strange overwhelming feeling she had felt when she saw her after Luna leat her to her.

Ahsoka felt Barriss’ parting breath against her lips, was still in a haze.

“I love you too.” the Mirialan said shyly, as her heels touched solid ground again, and she reached up to adjust her headscarf a little flustered, and neither of them could stop smiling.

“I missed you. So much.” Ahsoka said again and wiped away tears with the sleeve of the robe, as Barriss reached around her waist, pulling them closer together again, and resting her head against her.

“Do you want to go inside?” the Togruta asked quietly, her mind not completely grasping what had transpired yet.

“No. Lets stay a little while longer.” Barriss only replied. “Until I am sure this is real.”

“We can kiss again, if that helps.” Ahsoka said as cheerfully as possible through her cracked voice.

Barriss was woken by the, even though she hasn’t seen or had on in years, vaguely familiar sound of a comlink, and she immediately knew what it meant. That this was over. For a too long moment she contemplated simply taking the device and destroying it, make it vanish. Again be selfish, like the night before. But in the end she didn’t.

“Ahsoka.” she said quietly, not lifting her head off the other woman’s shoulder. Nothing happened.

“Ahsoka.” she repeated louder, almost in her normal voice, and slowly the other woman’s naked body began to stir on the bedroll under the weight of half a Mirialan.

“ _Hmmmm_.” Ahsoka hummed sleepily, that quiet, annoyed groan acknowledging the interaction being her only for a few moments.

“Your comlink.” Barriss informed her hesitantly, her voice already beginning to break.

“My...” the words slowly began to seep into Ahsoka’s mind, until she practically jumped up in bed, almost throwing the Mirialan, who still had her arm wrapped around her waist, off herself, but managed to catch in her arm, gently fixing her at her side as she sat up, still a tangle of olive and orange, and it took both of them a minute to hastily wrap themselves in a variation of each other’s clothes.

It was a long conversation. At its end Ahsoka nodded dutifully, telling Barriss all she needed to know. There would be little she could do. No arguments to make. And where she was going to go, there was no accompanying her, for Luna’s sake. So all she could to is sit their; Sit their, with her hands folded in her lap and watch their life unravel before her eyes. Just as it all came together.

“I have to go.” Ahsoka said, unable to look her in the eye. “I’m sorry.” For a brief moment it looked like there was the slightest chance she would be unable to bring herself to leave.

“Don’t go.” Barriss pleaded, overcome with sadness. It was pointless. She knew. That wasn’t the person Ahsoka was. Not the person she fell in love with, even back then, either.

“I have to.” Ahsoka said again. Her words did little to alleviate the sadness overcoming both of them.

“What about Luna?” Barriss said bitterly. It was unfair and she knew it, but she let her own emotions get the better of her. This was bigger than them. The Jedi side of her knew that. Always had known that. It had been the first thought she had when she woke up this almost unfathomably long time ago, and saw Ahsoka’s worried face looking at her. That it couldn’t last. And still she had hopped. But why now?

“I...” Ahsoka stammered. “I will be back.” she audibly wasn’t convinced by her own words. Saying she looked conflicted would be an understatement, as she struggled to look at the other woman directly.

“For her.” Barriss smiled sadly. And though it wasn’t intended to be a comment on their relationship, their feelings, the words were heavy with just that. Testimony to her worst fears. – The frailty of their newly admitted love.

“No.” Ahsoka protested solemnly. “I love her, and adore her, and I am going to miss her so much.” she paused. “But I’m going to come back _for you_. Do you understand? I love you. I meant that, every time, and I regret nothing.”

“Promise it.”

Calm.

“I promise.”

“Don’t die.” Barriss finally flung her arms around Ahsoka, pulling them together tightly, her head resting against her body. “You can’t die. I’m serious.” a single tear rolled down her face. “ _I love you_.”

Irrational.

“I am going to tell Luna.” Ahsoka announced calmly, but went on to press a little kiss to the other woman’s forehead.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> don't worry


	6. Time

Long tufts of dry grass swayed as a cold spring wind swept over the little vegetation that endured the long winter. The sky was completely clear, it’s greenish blue light bathing the landscape and its blackish dark soil into in a soft, lively glow, even though the sun still lacked the strength to break the land from winter’s long lasting grasp.

The pair of neatly polished black boots stopped short of the spacious greenhouse’s door, and its owner took a moment to adjust a few small intricacies of his light grey uniform, before folding his cap under his arm and pushing the button that would grand him entry. The large glass building laid just next to the classical building that mixed wooden structures with large parts of modern composite materials.

He paused as soon as the door had closed behind him, using the moment before his presence was noticed to take in the sight. The young woman tending to the rows of plants didn’t let herself be disturbed by the presence. She probably had felt him coming for at least hundred meters.

Her long dark brown hair was plaited into a long very orderly side braid, that fell over her shoulder and in front of her slender body.

She carefully buried the plant in some more soil with a few shoves of her palm before dusting off her hands against each other, and finally looked up, soft cobalt blue eyes meeting the clone’s. A happy smile quickly spread on the olive of her features, the he couldn’t help but return in kind, even though his neat white beard might have very well hidden the fact.

“Uncle Rex!” Luminara called across the small distance, already opening her arms widely to grab to old soldier in one of her bear hugs, he didn’t thought were possible from a person that nimble and gentle.

“Hello, Ls.” Rex grinned into the waves of hair suddenly obfuscating his line of sight. The woman might be almost as tall than her mother, but still a little shorter than the clone. One of these days she would eventually catch up to him.

“Is it true?” Luna removed herself from his body, but held onto him with her hands. “Did you fight on Endor? Mom said you were there.”

“I did.” Rex’s posture stiffened a bit. “Saw to the damn thing going up in flames myself this time.” he added proudly. “It’s over.”

“You are a hero then.” the young woman said seriously and finally let go of him.

“The real heroes are those who didn’t make it.” the soldier argued.

“Yeah.” Luna’s happy expression dropped for a moment. She had always hated the war. The Empire. Even just for the fact they tried to take her Mom. Over and over again. It was probably something the got in common.

“I’m glad you are here now.” she smiled again. “You are a little early though.”

“I’m here precisely at the time you told me to be here,” Rex scoffed, noticeably affronted by the notion he didn’t make the rendezvous time.

“No, I know.” Luna giggled friendly. “Just… you are the first to arrive.”

“I see.” he replied neutrally, and suddenly his hand snapped to the blaster at his side, with uncanny speed bringing it up to aim it a the woman with what looked like deadly intent. But before he could steady the weapon at her, she her hands wrapped around barrel of the weapon, turning it in his grasp, and aiming it back at him, as it rested in her hand now, directed directly at the centre of his chest, her index finger calmly resting against the trigger guard instead of the trigger.

“You practised.” Rex assessed, an audible measure of pride in his voice.

“Maybe I’m just _that_ good.” Luna waggled her eyebrows at him, as she dropped the gun into the holster at his belt.

“I find that hard to believe.” Rex shot back, but a friendly smile spread on his face. _Or maybe he was losing his edge after all_. “How is your mother?” he asked warmly, as he secured the weapon at his side with one hand.

“The seamstress is here. Mama is probably standing still on top of a stool. At least that’s how I left her an hour ago.” the young Mirialan informed him cheerily. “Do you want to go inside? It can get a little chilly out here.”

It’s not that the little chilly temperatures bothered Rex, even in his considerable old age – Yes, he was old. He was well aware of that – but even he couldn’t help to indulge in the comfortable, homely warmth of the small building. A lot of things still were like he imagined they had been before the amenities of modern space travel. He would have never imagined himself preferring the warmth of an open fire to that of a space heater, though.

In the middle of the room they indeed found the shorter Mirialan standing on top of a stool, another Mirialan woman kneeling at her feet, working the dark fabric thrown onto her. Her hair was as short as ever – practical – only that it had started to show a few stray grey hairs here and there. Rex couldn’t help but smile at the idea of the smartass Mirialan girl was now this woman, still a smartass, that after all these years still managed to hold onto lanky wannabe Jedi he used to know’s heart.

“Hello, Rex.” Barriss greeted him over her shoulder as she was unable to turn towards them at the time. “Luna, can you put the kettle on? You still enjoy a cup of tea, do you?” she addressed the clone again. “I will be right there.” the confidence of her words earned her an incredulous look from the seamstress.

“Yes, _Commander_.” Rex replied – At one point the title had become a sort of term of endearment between them – and sat down on one of the seat cushion scattered in front of the fire.

“Does she know?” Rex inquired interestedly, gesturing at the young woman’s face with his free hand.

“No, it’s my present.” Luna traced the darker shapes on her face with her index.

“Quite, the surprise I can imagine.” Rex replied.

“I know. Even Mama cried when she saw the end result the first time.” the woman replied. “And she is the one who did them.”

“Don’t tell her that. I’ll never hear the end of it.” Barriss chimed in from where she was reading over some ancient text she was working to translate without taking her eyes off said text.

“Maybe.” Luminara grinned widely at her mother, how looked up, for only a second warningly narrowing her eyes at the girl.

“How long has it been?” Rex inquired solemnly, and both women fell silent for a few moments.

“Seven months.” the younger woman spoke up first after clearing her throat. “Since my seventeenth birthday.”

“Has it been that long already?” Rex said wistfully; So many things had happened. Barriss hummed acknowledgingly in response.

“I’m just glad she will be back.” Luna added, still a slightly sad tone in her voice. “I miss her, a lot.” she shot her mother a look too, but the older Mirialan apparently pretended to not have heard her, even as she could clearly perceive the feelings coming off her mother, and a few seconds later she even glanced at the image of the three of them walking to the temple, Luna in the middle of her mothers, holding both their hands, sitting above the fireplace.

“She fought some important battles out there. Did some important work.” Rex established. “I know it hasn’t been easy, but the Galaxy needed her. You have every reason to be proud of your mother.” his words and voice were soothing, as always. Luna had always loved how easily the old clone had come around to accept her as the Togruta’s daughter without so much as batting an eye at any sort of biological possibility. Which had been a lot of help during the early years of puberty, when she hadn’t been that sure after all. It actually amazed her how strong his concept of family has, her young age unable to grasp that he thought alongside his family his whole life, and had seen countless of them die.

“I am.” she replied quietly, but was still unable to really hide her sadness. She knew he was right, but that didn’t mean she didn’t miss her every second she was away.

“Mama, are you awake?” Luna’s form appeared in the half open door to her mother’s bedroom a while after Rex had gone to bed too.

“ _Hmmm_.” Barriss hummed, loud enough for Luna to hear it, even she had her back turned on her, as she lay down on the bed, far too big for a single person.

“Are you alright?” the younger Mirialan inquired quietly, took a few steps inside, pulling the door shut behind her with a barely audible thud. She didn’t want to lead with the fact she could clearly perceive her mother’s feelings. The fact she could and the older Mirialan couldn’t after all these years of training under her instruction still made her quite uneasy.

“Yes. I’m just thinking about your Mom.” Barriss replied as quietly, but shifted sides in her spot to face her daughter.

“Don’t you look forward to seeing her again?” Luna narrowed her eyes worriedly at the older woman.

“I do.” Barriss willed a little smile onto her face at last. “I just miss her.” she conceded. “It seems so long since I touched her face. Felt her warmth.” she added. Usually Luna would comment a well placed ‘Ew’ for comic relieve if her mothers talked about the more physical aspects of their relationship, but knew her mother well enough to not demean her longing.

“Didn’t you talk like every day the past few weeks?”

“We did.” Barriss replied sheepishly. “But that’s not the same. I think seeing her face every day made it worse.” she sighed loudly.

“Do you have doubts?” Luna followed up softly, and without asking for permission laid down next to her mother, facing her. They always had this closeness over missing the Togruta woman as she grew up. And its not been that long since they shared her mother’s bed by sheer necessity.

“No.” Barriss replied immediately, strongly, and scooted away a little to give the other woman some space to more comfortably lie down and a vaguely relieved, if anything content expression spread on the young woman’s face. “I’m just being impatient, I guess.”

“I think after twelve years you can wait a few more days.” Luna smiled for emphasis. Her mother only hummed acknowledgingly again.

“Can I sleep in your bed?” Luna asked, imitating her own younger self, adding a little pout for emphasis. “I promise I won’t disturb you.” she added with a smile. “It’s probably the last time.”

“ _Hmmm_.” Barriss hummed and pointedly rolled her eyes, and added sadly “Just this once.”

“You should have offered Rex your bed.” Barriss scolded good naturedly as Luna crawled under the warm blanked.

“As if the old man would have accepted. I bet he loves sleeping in his old republican bedroll.” Luna quipped.

“You spent too much time with your Mom.” Barriss said a little more cheerfully than before.

“Good night, Mama.” Luna whispered gingerly, adjusting herself under the blanked.

“Good night, Lovebug.”

Rex groaned as his body violently collided with the matt. Again. Just as he had come to terms with dying of old age after all, he might die through the hands of a Mirialan girl, he mused as she propped himself up in his elbows to stand up again.

“I don’t think there is anything left I can teach you combat wise.” he conceded seriously, grabbing onto the hand that had been held out to him to pull him to his feet again. The girl was a natural. Clearly took after her mothers.

“Don’t be sad. You have been a very good teacher.” Luna helped him up with a grin, that might as well been Ahsoka’s.

“Don’t get cocky with me, kid.” Rex reprimanded, but soon a grin started to appear on his face too.

“I wouldn’t dare to.” she pursed her lips, trying to hide another grin, her bright blue eyes doing a very good job at doing it in her mouth’s place. Suddenly the girl seemingly froze in place, before her violently snapped to the left, and she narrowed her eyes at the wall separating them from the outside, then without further warning let go of the old clone and fell into a sprint towards the door leading outside.

For a moment she paused on the small on wooden patio in front of their house, her eyes fixed in the distance, until the unmistakable figure of her Mom appeared over one of the small hills a short distance away from the house, and there was no holding back. Luna blazed over the field, not even caring she hadn’t put on any more clothes to protect her from the cold, and towards Ahsoka.

“Mom!” she yelled as they were only a few meters apart and tears of joy and relief started clouding her sight. The older woman had stopped, bracing herself for the young woman’s impact. A moment later Luna barrelled into her, not making even the slightest attempt at slowing down, and Ahoska just managed to drop her duffel bag on the ground in favour of throwing her arms around her daughter.

“Hey.” the Togruta greeted her sheepishly, before she became aware of the amount of vapour rising from the girl’s unprotected skin, and immediately, albeit with a little effort wrestled her grip in place, so she could throw her long white cloak over both of them.

“I missed you!” Luna declared emotionally, tightening her grip around the woman as if she would never let go again, her face buried into the soft warmth of one of her tails. They stayed like this for at least a minute, Ahsoka gently rubbing the girl’s back unto her grip slowly started to soften. As soon as Luna let go of her, Ahsoka pulled her cloak from her shoulders, throwing it around her daughter instead. Only then she got a good look at the girl’s face.

“Luna.” she practically gasped for air now. “Your tattoos.” her eyes began to water.

The young Mirialan’s cheeks and forehead was decorated with a set of simple geometrical shapes not unlike her mother’s, but they were aligned in a way that their pattern resembled the Togruta’s face markings.

“Surprise.” Luna giggled through her own tears. “It took me a while to do all the things needed to be able to get them. Do you like it?”

“Do I like it?” Ahsoka tried to blink away her tears. “I love it.” She managed but in the end lacked the words to accurately describe how she felt and fell silent again, prompting her daughter engulf her in another hug,

“Is your Mama home?” Ahsoka inquired sheepishly after a while, almost shyly eyeing the building in the distance, then the girl again.

“Rex and I were sparing. She might still be asleep.” Luna contemplated.

“Rex is already here?” a smirk appeared on the Togruta’s face at the thought. “He is a little early.”

“No, he was here exactly when we told him to.” Luna parroted and they shared a short laugh.

“So that came up already, Eh? Love the hair by the way.” Ahsoka added. The last time she had seen her daughter in person her hair was still only shoulder long and put up in some way or another at all times.

“Thanks!” Luna giggled.

“Please don’t tell me you have a boyfriend I don’t know about yet.” the Togruta commented in feign wariness.

“Well, No. But there is this girl...” Luna began, and couldn’t help but grin at the honest relief spreading on her mother’s face.

“Neither. I’m just fucking with you.” she followed up with a barely contained smirk.

“Language.”

“You taught me that phrase.”

“If I remember correctly, _Zeb_ taught you that phrase.”

“..In _your_ presence.”

“Doesn’t mean I approve.”

“You called another patron of that inn ‘fuckface’ when you called on my tenth birthday.” Luna pointed out.

_Hey, Fuckface, this is the t_ _hird_ _time I have to tell you this, so I am going to make myself extra clear. I am talking to my daughter, who’s birthday it is. So you either get lost, or you are going drink soup through a straw for at least a month._ Were her exact words.

“He interrupted… very rudely. And your Mama has been giving me shit about that ever since. Just so you know.”

“Language.” Luna singsonged. Maybe she has spend too much time around soldiers and mercenaries for her age. As have her mothers.

Ahsoka only rolled her eyes at that, but couldn’t help but grin either. “As much as I love arguing about my parenting with you in the cold out here, there is something I have been planing to do for seven months now.”

“ _Ew_.” Luna giggled dutifully, prompting her mother to roll her eyes again and even eliciting a rare glare. At least directed at her daughter.

Ahsoka paused at the doorstep, actually couldn’t bring herself to step in for a moment, only staring at the door that had already closed behind Luna. The longest seven months of her life. And she was finally home; For good. _Two hundred twenty six standard days and four hours._ She eventually pushed the door opener, and almost to her surprise the door opened immediately.

The room smelled of the wood at was made of, the warmth of the fireplace and the many flowers her _girlfriend_ grew and made into tea. – Home.

The older Mirialan was nowhere to be seen, so Ahsoka took the time to very orderly put away her bag for the moment, and even went to greet Rex who unsurprisingly was sitting on his bedroll, polishing his boots already. They only exchanged a short greeting, I hadn’t been that long since they last met in person after all, even if they arrived on different ships.

When Ahsoka arrived at their bedroom the bed was empty already, the quiet sounds of the shower floating through the room, a small trail of clothes confirming her assumption. A warm smile started to spread on Ahsoka’s face. She was still sad about the long time they had been apart, but also tired, and worn from the constant battles, the fighting and running. She exhaled loudly and cracked her neck before quietly making her way towards the bathroom.

She gingerly peaked inside. It was a real wooden door, so no pneumatic whistling could give away her presence. The room was filled with hot steam, but she could easily discern the Mirialan’s small figure inside the glass of the cabin.

“Don’t startle.” she said quietly as she slipped inside the shower, steadying Barriss with her hands on her hips, just in case she was actually going to flinch at her presence, but she did no such thing. Instead the Mirialan quasi immediately melted into the touch, although Ahsoka didn’t have to be that much of an empath to know she started to cry the moment she became aware of her presence, and couldn’t help but join in for a moment.

“You are back.” Barriss said, stumbling backwards, letting herself held by Ahsoka.

“And here to stay.” Ahsoka said weakly, and gently placed her hands in front of the other woman’s body, and pressing a small kiss to the Mirialan’s cheek that was facing her. They stayed like this for a few minutes, just letting the water rain down on them, each in their own right making sure the other was real, after all, enjoying the feeling of each other’s skin.

“Do you want me to wash your hair?” Ahsoka was to first to speak up again.

“It’s not that long.” Barriss replied softly.

“That’s not what I asked, though.” Ahsoka gave back.

“Yeah.” Barriss conceded eventually, quietly handing her the shampoo bottle. Ahsoka could see the other woman’s face light up with soft brown as she began massaging her scalp, pressing a gentle kiss to either of her shoulders from time to time, as her fingers dragged through her hair and along her skin.

“Do you want to...” Barriss bit her lip.

“No. I’m tired. Unless you want to very badly.” Ahsoka willed friendly smirk onto her face, although now that she had let herself relax she really felt, and most likely looked tired.

“It can wait.” Barriss replied friendly. “Turn around.”

Ahsoka wanted to protest, but then thought better of it, and simply turned around, handing back the shampoo.

“I almost forgot how tall you are.” Barriss joked meekly. “Can you get down.”

“I thought it can wait?” Ahsoka chuckled.

“So I can better reach your horns. Idiot.” Barriss replied, her voice nothing but loving.

“Yes, Ma’am.” the Togruta replied in feign seriousness, and did as she was told, folding her legs in a meditation seat, resting her hands in her lap.

“This is new.” Barriss said, her finger carefully tracing the edge of a scar on Ahsoka’s shoulder.

“ _Hmmm_.” the other woman hummed. “Bounty hunter tried to trust a vibroblade into my back.”

“And this.”

“Imperial blaster.”

“And this.”

“Nexu.”

“Why didn’t you tell me earlier?” Barriss hand rubbed the space between the Togruta’s back tail and her back.

“Didn’t want to worry you.” The way Ahsoka had said it made it sound like a question, and a very Ahsoka grimace appeared on her face.

“I always worry about you.” Barriss replied calmly, if the admission hurt her feelings she did an exceptional job at hiding it, and Ahsoka was glad all her other bruises had healed away already during the flight.

“Thank you.” Ahsoka said warmly and got up once the Mirialan’s hands had abandoned her body.

“I just like touching you.” Barriss replied, a vaguely roguish expression on her face. “I missed you.” she added seriously, but there wasn’t the same intense sadness Ahsoka would feel all the other times they had reunited before.

“I missed you too.” the Togruta replied, pointedly keeping a little distance between their bodies, taking in every little detail of the Mirialan’s face, her eyes wandering along the softer lines of her body, only gracing her chest, instead following the sharp edge of her collarbone and the bend of her neck until they rest on the markings just under her eyes for a moment, admiring the way the edges seemingly only grace the skin until their blue eyes finally met again.

“Kiss me already.” Barriss demanded and stepped into to space Ahsoka had left, their height difference quite noticeable now. And Ahsoka did; Gently, hesitant, cupping the shorter woman’s cheeks with her hands, as she brings their lips together. Both their eyes are closed, as they savour the moment. When they finally stop, smiling breathless smiles at each other both are true to their word, and they spend another few minutes dancing around each other in the shower, only so often holding each other as they finish their cleaning routine.

“I love you.” Ahsoka announces when the water begins to slow down, intensely holding the other woman’s gaze.

“I love you too.” Barriss reaffirmed, lingering for another few moments, holding the taller woman’s hand before finally stepping out the shower.

“I think I need to take a nap.” Ahsoka informed her a little shyly, rummaging through the drawer, refreshing her memory of the clothes she actually possessed beyond combat gear, but then paused for a moment. “Do you mind staying with me?”

“Now that I think of it, I’m still a little tired myself.” Barriss smiled. “Put on some clothes. I’m going to tell Luna and Rex to keep themselves busy.”


	7. Promise II

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Just fluff... No explaination needed or reason given :3 Also I guess this is the end? Sorry if its disappointing or something. Thats just how it is :)

“Hey, Mom.” Luna’s friendly voice sounded from outside the Togruta’s line of sight. Ahsoka tried to turn, but couldn’t really, her attempt earning her annoyed exhales and groans from the three older Mirialan women that were currently plucking and pulling at her attire as she had no choice but stand there and endure.

“Hey.” Ahsoka replied warmly, her voice slightly weary from the ordeal, and noticeably filled with at least a little bit anxiety. “I knew you would go with this one.” she added as the image of the young Mirialan woman dressed in a simple black ceremonial dress and an all too familiar bright pink headscarf finally appeared in front of her. Noticeably her hair was parted in two long braids hanging down her body on each side, together with her tattoos resembling her mother’s image as closely as Mirialanly possible.

“I kind of felt it was the right choice.” Luna smiled and took a seat on one of the cushions beside the spot the tall woman was currently dressed up in traditional wedding attire. “How are you holding up?” she inquired cheerfully, giving the Togruta a fond look.

“I though you’d be with your mother.” Ahsoka deflected a little sheepishly, shooting her a wry smile, prompting Luna to immediately narrow her eyes at her.

“I thought that’s where I am?” Luna all but protested the insinuation.

“You know what I mean.” Ahsoka tried to argue but to no avail.

“I do, and that’s nonsense.” the younger woman replied strongly. “Besides, she isn’t the one shaking in her boots. So I’m right were I’m supposed to be.”

“I’m sorry...” Ahsoka began, seeing the Mirialan’s expression darken ever so slightly.

“No… _Uh_ …” She in turn faltered a little. “I am sorry.” she added after a long pause, as Ahsoka patiently waited for her to go on, seemingly feeling she had to say something.

“For what?” the Togruta asked gingerly, now definitely feeling her agitation.

“For what I said back then. I know we have kinda been glossing over it, and I am very thankful for it. Especially that you didn’t tell Mama, but… I still want you to know that it wasn’t true. You always were a great Mom. Like seriously. And I… I love you, and the day you entered our life was still the best day of my life. I just wanted you to know that. Like, now that there is no going back.” her sad pout quickly gave way to a more cheerful, albeit still thoughtful smile.

“I know, Lovebug. Don’t worry about it. I always knew.” Ahsoka replied quickly, trying her very best to not let the words get to her too much, so she wouldn’t ruin the little makeup she had on, just before the ceremony. “I love you too.” she said, suppressing a barely audible sob. “And for what it’s worth, that’s the best day of my life too.”

“Until now.” Luna giggled. “Which reminds me, I have another gift for you. Took me some lawyering to negotiate down the high priestess.” she procured a very fancy Togruta headdress. “Technically, the rules only state that you should wear some piece of headwear, which I’d argue, a Togruta headdress very well constitutes. “And--” she held up her mother’s dark burgundy Togruta sash “You have to wear the white belt, but, there is no provision about none Mirialan insignia. Well Neminara helped a little in that argument.” she added, and without another word began tugging the sash over the heavy white silk belt around the Togruta’s waist, signifying that she hadn’t been born on either of the continents of Mirial.

“Oh, that’s very thoughtful of you.” Ahsoka replied, visibly touched by the gesture. “And you are sure it’s okay?” she kind of had already made her peace with wearing some sort of cover over her head.

“Yes. Completely Okay. If only because I say so.” Luna shrugged, a slight grin on her face. “Plus, Neminara said, if the priestess would mount a protest she would marry you anyway. So...”

“Thank you.” the Togruta willed some kind of composure on her face.

A moment later the women dressing Ahsoka brought the last piece, the simple black robe to be worn over the fifty something layers of fabric already on her body.

“I guess you are about done now. I’m going to get ready too.” Luna smiled a last warm smile, quickly linking hands with Ahsoka before shuffling out of the room.

“Reminds me of Luminara.” Ahsoka whispered and a slight smirk appeared over the enamoured and visibly moved expression on her face, as the two woman stood next to each other, awaiting the procession to begin, their eyes trained forward, were the short stone path was lined by Rex, Luna, Riyo, Hero, Zeb, Sabine and Tabor.

“ _Hmmm_. I hate it.” Barriss replied in feign exasperation, pointedly rolling her eyes upwards to point at the rather heavy ensemble of felt and fine silk atop he head. She supposed it kind of did look like something Luminara would have worn.

“You don’t. You love this. And at least you don’t have to wear the outsider belt.” Ahsoka give back quietly.

“Does that actually bother you? Why didn’t you say so?” Barriss replied calmly, folding her hands in front of her body, inside the long sleeves of the very same over robe. “Most Mirialan weddings are white weddings, since most Mirialan’s are born off world. Luna’s wedding would be a white wedding.” she informed her.

“Oh, I didn’t know that.”

“You would have if you listened to what I tell you, from time to time.” Barriss said sharply, but a roguish grin appeared on her face that even Ahsoka could catch without looking at her entirely. “Also, I hate orange.” the Mirialan added.

“Excuse me...” Ahsoka managed to say, as two young priestesses in their white robes appeared in front of them and they exchanged polite bows, as Ahsoka had rehearsed close to a hundred times with Luna. She won’t be telling that to her soon the be with though.

The priestesses slowly led them down the cobblestone path. Even though they technically weren’t allowed neither of them could help but steal a glance at the other, exchanging a little smile as they did, before hastily looking a head again, where they were greeted by Neminara in her extremely large, white robe and very extravagant headdress to match, Luna and Rex on their respective sides.

Shortly before reaching the spot, the priestesses leading veered to the side, leaving them to take the last few steps on their own, until they stood in front of the priestess, right in between the witnesses.

Luna and Rex stepped in front of the respective people they are supposed to hand their ward over to, as required by the ritual placing both their hands on their shoulders and bowing to them. The old clone actually looked like he was about to cry, for the first time in his life of course, and Luna stole a glance at Ahsoka herself, winking at her as she came up from her bow, before both of them orderly took a step to the side, and kneeled down a step behind the pair.

Neminara in turn bowed to them, which they returned, and then spread her arms to gesture for them to kneel down on the cushions in front of them too.

“We have gathered here, to celebrate the intertwine of these two souls’ fates.” the old Mirialan began. “So they may become one for as long as they are together, and lead them forward into destiny. By the wills of the force, what only they may do apart, not even death can separate.”

“Ahsoka Tano of the plains of Shili. Warrior of justice, a spirit of balance.”

“Barriss Offee of Kian. Healer of the wounded and the sick, a spirit of peace.”

“As you came here, your fates have been inseparably linked. If you agree, present your unity before destiny.”

The both reached out with their dominant hand, presenting their palms and bowing their heads, prompting both the younger priestesses to bring in a small wooden shrine for them to place them on in front of them. As they did, the Mirialan’s now kneeling close to them on both sides, wrapped a large silk cloth around their wrists, gently tying them together.

After a moment of ceremonial silence, Neminara kneeled down too, and the other priestesses handed her two wooden bowls, filled with a dark black ink, that had a heavy, a little sweat smell, which she poured over the brides’ palms, leaving them completely covered, as the liquid stuck to their skin pretty well.

“Ahsoka Tano, do you affirm your fate to be bound to this woman, as it has been before and will be ever after, no matter where your paths my lead?”

“I do.” Ahsoka replied seriously, her hand clenching a large piece of fabric, her voice vibrating with emotion.

“Barriss Offee, do you affirm your fate to be bound to this woman, as it has been before and will be ever after, no matter where your paths my lead?”

“I do.” Barriss replies all too calmly, but treacherously swallowed thickly.

“Then this seal shall be prove that your fates are bound, and forever will be, no matter where your paths may lead.” Neminara solemnly held to large wooden stamps, each crested with four rhombuses of equal size forming another rhombus shape, before pressing them down on the brides’ palms. The chemical reacting with the ink, burning into the skin, made a quiet, searing sound, as the not unpleasant smell of the ink started to fill the air around them. It wasn’t all that painful, either, the ink meticulously setting into the skin underneath.

When the deed was done, Neminara carefully set the stamps aside, Ahsoka and Barriss, still dutifully looking at the priestess, although the temptation grew ever bigger by the second. The priestesses unbound them and removed the furniture, replacing it with another wooden bowl, this time filled with a flower oil. The older priestess gently putting her hands under the two hands still offered to her, and leading them to the bowl. The oil painlessly washed away the excess ink, and their hands appeared perfectly decorated with the sigil of their union, as Neminara led them together, holding them together in her own for another moment of silence, before letting go of them herself and resting her hands in her lap as she still kneeled before them.

“Fate has witnessed your union. You may now celebrate this union as is custom in your family.” she added solemnly. “As may your friends and family.”

Finally Barriss and Ahsoka got to look at each other, every notion of saving some sort of decorum or makeup overboard as tears streamed down their faces and they practically sprung at each other, first hugging then quickly kissing feverishly. Only a moment though, before they were tackled by Luna, who practically flung herself on top of them, as their few friends stood and applauded, now that the official part of the ceremony was over.

“I love you.” Ahsoka managed through all the tumult, now grinning at her wife.

“I love you too, Soka.” the other woman gave back. “And I _love_ orange.” she winked.

“That’s good, because you are going to see that colour, a lot.”

“Ew.” Luna added happily, as they eventually got up, sharing hugs and congratulations with their friends. Ahsoka had to take a moment to calm down Rex, before they became aware of a small group of faint blue glows a little off in a corner of the temple, the sight bringing a sad but nonetheless happy smile on both of their faces.

“What are you looking at?” Barriss inquired, as she finally threw her arms around Rex. The images had disappeared as quickly as they had appeared, leaving them with only a single acknowledging nod.

“I’m going to tell you later.” Ahsoka replied strangely solemnly for the occasion. “Let’s go home and celebrate.”

“Very well, Lady Offee.” Barriss gave back, an impish smile spreading on her face.

“Excuse me… what?”

“You heard me.”

“The last time I looked you had already taken my name.”

“That was formerly. Now the Empire is gone and we are married.”

“Her name is Tano.” Ahsoka pointed at Luna, who only smiled, demonstratively not taking a side in the argument.

“Has it been like that your whole life?” Riyo inquired quietly, narrowing her eyes at the newly weds, walking the path the were their shuttle was waiting, hand in hand, still arguing.

“Oh, long before that.” Rex beat Luna to it.


End file.
